WTF, Horror Movies ?!!


Before I begin, I wanna say Congrats to Taylor Stevens (@TAYSTEVENS) for winning “Best Webcam Girl” at Freeones. Given all the things she’s been through, she really needed that. And Thanks to everyone who voted for her. You will be greatly rewarded 😀

Ok,

Warning: This blog entry talks about some horror movies, so it will contain spoilers. If you have seen these movies, then you have nothing to worry about. If you have yet to see these movies, then…give a fucking life ! These movies are on Premium Movie Channels already, what the fuck are you doing ?!

 

Ahem…Sorry about that. Moving on…

 

As you may or may not know, I love horror movies- The Saw series, Halloween (Rob Zombie), Night of the creeps – I’m so down with watching these movies. In fact, Every October I watch at least 1 horror movie EACH DAY of the month. It’s become a tradition for me – I like it.

But despite my love for the genre, there is one thing that bothers me, and it’s makes me ask:

“WHY do all the Busty babes in horror movies either end up dying or some shit ?!”

WHY ?!

Every time I see a woman with big boobies in a horror flick, the first thing I think of is: “Aw Shit ! She’s done for.” – every fucking time. Don’t believe me ? I can Prove it.

Let’s talk about “Friday the 13th” (2009).

Now I really Loved this movie, not just for the hot ladies, but the way Jason kills his victims in the remake was fantastic. But the fact that none of the busty vixens made it to the end of the movie bothered me to some extent.

Let’s start with the first victim: Amanda (Played by America Olivo)
SPOILER ALERT !

Now Amanda has the right idea, Entice her boyfriend with a little striptease, and rub some oil on her breasts. Nicely done. After a few minutes into the movie (The geek finds the weed, can’t enjoy it cuz he gets killed off, the other members of the party find the house Jason grew up in, etc.) we get to see Amanda get her nasty on in the tent with the boyfriend. At first she stops because of a noise she hears outside the tent, resumes, and then stops again to the noises.

The Boygriend goes out to see what’s going on, gets snared in a Bear Trap, and Amanda gets put in a sleeping bag, which is hanging over the roaring campfire. She’s gets cooked. Her Boyfriend gets own’d by Jason too.

What the hell ?

She didn’t get to finish having sex. The fuck is THAT about ?! If I knew that I was gonna die at the hands of a psycho killer, I’m gonna get my fuck on to the finish. I WILL get that sweet orgasm. But I digress…She was a perky brunette who had nice boobs, she seemed like she could have held her own – she should have at least gotten a fighting chance.

 

Let’s movie on to another movie: “Night of the Demons” (2009) SPOILER ! – there are 3, yes 3 ladies who could have kicked ass in that movie if they hadn’t became demons.

The first woman I’ll discuss in the movie is Angela (Played by Shannon Elizabeth – Don’t know who she is ? See the movie “American Pie”)

Anyway, Angela is the woman who plans/arranges/promotes the Halloween Party, which needs to be a success, or she’s homeless. In the part where her and her friends find the dead bodies in the basement of the house, she ends up cutting her finger. Shortly after that, she becomes possessed by the demons. WTF ?!

It’s bad enough she’s trying to make ends meet, but now to become a demon, who will end up dying in the end of the movie ?! The Fuck is going on ?!

The next busty beauty in this movie is Lily (Played by Diora Baird) After staying low in the house the Halloween Party was thrown in, which got busted of by the Police, AND is also where the demons live btw, Lily decides to have some quality time with her boyfriend. While getting their fuck on, her boyfriend becomes a demon, and decides it’s Lily’s turn to transform into one.

How is this done ?: The Demon Violently Rams his demonic dick into her butt…No, that was NOT a typo, and I was fully awake when I saw this movie. Demonic Dick, rammed in Butt. To celebrate her “Transformation”, the new demons decide to keep on having sex – Tentacles are flaying about from her nipples, and the demon dude is just plowing away, and spitting worms on her back.

Good Times.

And finally, our last victim is Maddie (Monica Keena). While enjoying a sexy lesbian session with Angela, she soon discovers that both Angela and her are hovering above the floor during their embrace. She looks at Angela, who’s face has turned into a demon, who proceeds to tear off Angela’s top, rip the skin off her left breast, and then bites her face off in one moition.

Yuck. Cool effects, but still yuck.

You see the point here ? Granted, it’s ALWAYS fun to see a buxom beauty in a horror film, but they should be more than just the women who die horribly. Busty ladies can be smart, powerful and intelligent.

Don’t believe me ? One name: Lara Croft.

The End.

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