This is a rebuttal of a blog post that was posted on tumblr by twitter user @carolynmichelle, who works at Feminist Frequency. This blog is not in support of @carolynmichelle or FemFreq, and I do not take ownership of her blog entry as it appears on Tumblr. It’s mainly being used as a template for my rebuttal, as certain parts stand out to me that I would like to respond to. My responses will appear in red text through this blog entry.
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Why I didn’t just lead in with this, I don’t know. Let’s do this.
On Male As Default And What Ms. Male Characters Are And Aren’t
Whether willfully or sincerely, a lot of people who have been tweeting the image I discussed in my last post…
…continue to essentially say, “But you said a female Link would be cool, and Link as a woman would by definition be a Ms. Male Character! That’s hypocritical! What the fuck do you want?”
And for any who are genuinely unsure about this, I want to try to offer some clarification, if I can.
It’s quite simple. A female Link–that is, an incarnation of the Hero of Time, the link between players and the game world, who simply was a woman–would not be a Ms. Male Character because the character would actually be Link. If link is an incarnation, then that means link is a spirit. A spirit can take on any form it chooses freely, and can continue to manifest in that same from if it wants to, with subtle changes. Think of the living castle in the Castlevania games. You are always traveling to the same castle, but the castle is different every time on the inside. Some things are the same as the last form, but different, nonetheless, and it chooses its final form of its own will. Thus the spirit of link could be a woman, but selectively chooses not to be.
This would make sense, because Link is not one character but many characters, and would be cool, because Link is such an iconic character, and part of what is terrific about Link within the context of the Zelda games is that he functions as a blank slate character, one for players to seamlessly project themselves onto. We rarely have iconic female characters that function as blank slates for players of all genders to project themselves onto. A “blank slate character” has neither a gender-specific trait or characteristic from the start [gender neutral]. And seeing that Link is an iconic character, that means that said character must have some similarity to the previous version of the past self, thus requiring him to retain a similar form every time. It also explains why Nintendo choose not to make Link a woman.
As series producer Eiji Aonuma explains to Kotaku, “the main character [of Zelda] isn’t actually Link—it’s the player.” The silent protagonist is meant to serve as an empty stand-in for the player to project himself onto. Link is the link—get it?—between the presumably male player and his virtual world.
Meanwhile, Linkle is the definition of a Ms. Male Character because everything about her–her name, her appearance–is designed to position her as very clearly, very explicitly Not-Link, and this reinforces the notion of male as default which is so prevalent in our society. This doesn’t suggest a “default” of any kind. Creating a character that doesn’t look anything like the character from past games in any way, is simply A NEW CHARACTER. It’s like the movie ‘Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li’. You can’t really call it a movie from the ‘Street Fighter‘ series, because while the movie has the names of characters that are from the game, they look nothing like any of the characters from the game. That’s like saying that an apple looks like a watermellon. It’s not.
As Anita Sarkeesian says at one point in the Feminist Frequency video on the Ms. Male Character…
“In a male-identified society like ours, men are associated and become synonymous with human beings in general. In other words, male tends to be seen as the default for the entire species.” The “gender binary” is something that is created and exists in NATURE, and is beyond the control of human beings. Humans can be born as Male or Female, have one or both genitals of the sexes, and have characteristics to either gender. Mother Nature is a mad scienist, and doesn’t really give two cents if you like or dislike the cycle of life.
This is why, for instance…
…the character on the right, who has no signifiers of any kind, is read as male, while the character on the left needs the gender signifiers to differentiate her from the “default” and make it clear that she is female. What you are describing, is based on character design, something that is 100% in control of the game designer/developer. The fact the designer/developer chose this appearance for ‘Pac-Man’, does not make it a default in any way. For all we know, Pac-Man could have just been chosen to look like box with two eyes, or a stick figure with a big butt, or a spaceship. The possibilities are limitless as to what can be created, and just because the character doesn’t meet an individual’s idea of a protagonist doesn’t mean there is something wrong with it, or that it’s a form of sexism.
After the Ms. Male Character video came out, to further illustrate the way that male as default is ingrained in our culture, someone made this image, trying to convey what it might be like if we lived in an alternate universe in which female was seen as the default, the “standard” gender, and men had to be defined in opposition to that default. This again goes to personal preference of a single person. The fact that Pac-Man isn’t wearing blue or a top hat and tie, is again a personal opinion and preference of the individual. And around the time the game was created, you could only do so much with an arcade and console system in the 1980’s. By the way, from my POV, Pac-Man is NAKED. Just a thought.
Because we live in a strongly male-identified society, the idea of Pac-Woman as the “unmarked” default and Mr. Pac-Woman as the deviation “marked” with masculinizing gender signifiers feels strange and downright absurd, while Pac-Man and the deviation Ms. Pac-Man seem completely normal in our current cultural context. This whole paragraph is downright absurd. “Because we live in a strongly male-identified society”, no we don’t. Women have just as much as much rights and support as a man, and men do support women. This is the problem with “Modern day”feminism: It’s a toxic argument that focuses on problems that are almost virtually non-existent in First-World countries (USA is a First-World country), but are running rampant in Third-World Countries, and is only lightly addressed.
In a female as default society, as I explored in another recent post, this collection of pixels might be interpreted as female. A Pixel is a dot on a computer screen, and should not be interpreted as a gender part…That’s just weird as hell.
(Though this should go without saying, female-as-default is not a goal of feminism; rather, we’re working toward a culture in which genders are viewed more equitably, and female is not seen as an alternate, a deviation from the standard norm of male.) In other words, you want a gender-neutral character, that can be perceived in any gender, from any individual perspective. A game free from being subjected to any tropes. This is a personal preference from a single person, and a personal preference should never be made the rule.
The issue of male as default also gives rise to (and is in turn reinforced by) the prevalence of the Smurfette Principle, which the video discusses in detail. The Smurfette Principle, which is on display in so many TV shows and games, is the tendency for only one member of a group to be female while all the others are male; often, in situations like this, the men all have distinct personality traits, while the one female member’s personality is essentially “being the girl of the group.” Gender as personality trait. A thing about Tropes, from a developer’s perspective: A Trope should be seen as more of a variable that is part of a larger equation. And like a variable, a trope can be altered to any extent [it’s value can be changed]. This can result in a different trope being created altogether, or take a spin on a trope. The problem here, is that tropes are clichés, and anyone can make them up and use them in just about anything, including Video Games. It gets worse when you use them to describe real-life comparisons, when it fact, a trope is mainly for literary works, and not for real life. Life and art IMITATE each other – they do not dictate each other. That is blurring the line between fantasy and reality, something that only the mentally unstable do. It’s a dangerous concept.
Insert 1950’s sexist rhetoric here, or just use only the picture above. Your call.
So, let’s take an example of a character who is not inherently a Ms. Male Character: Commander Shepard.
Within the context of the Mass Effect games themselves, Shepard (as a woman) is not a Ms. Male Character because she does not exist solely in relation to Shepard (as a man). When you play as her, she simply isShepard. However, because the marketing materials so overwhelmingly presented male Shepard as the “standard,” “default” Shepard, Shepard (as a woman) is in some ways perceived as an alternate, a deviation from the norm. The prevalence of the notion of male-as-default is also why fans of Shepard as a woman (including myself) often refer to her as FemShep. Male Shepard gets to be just Shepard (yes, I know some people jokingly refer to him as BroShep) while female Shepard is in some ways othered by her gender. However, as I said, taken within the context of the games themselves, Shepard is not a Ms. Male Character. If a character in a video game looks like a woman, it’s a woman. If a character looks like a man, it’s a man. The same goes for gender identity – If a person identifies as female, they are female and vice versa. And again, this is going to personal preference of having a gender neutral character in video games. Also “othered”, “FemShep” and “BroShep” are not words. If you are going to make an argument/opinion/statement, use words that actually exist. And spell check. Don’t skimp on the spell check.
Similarly, if, say, in the next proper Zelda game, Link, the Hero of Time, were simply incarnated as female (as some of us hoped might be the case upon seeing the next Link for the first time)…
…and Link were still the same typically blank-slate character that players are expected to project themselves onto and inhabit, this would not be a Ms. Male Character. Again, Jess Joho:
Here’s the bottom line that Nintendo refuses to see: when people ask “why can’t Link be a girl,” they’re not asking for the option to maybe play as a girl who looks like Link in a game with a Zelda-related title. They’re not asking for girls to be kept to the side, marginalized to a lesser product and project (anyone remember the Nintendo Girls Club?) Instead, they’re asking why—amidst an otherwise very female-centric mythology about three goddesses and a badass princess—must the “Hero” character always be a boy? Why is it okay to ask female players to identify with Link despite their gender differences, but at the same time have it be inconceivable to ask male players to do the same?
(emphasis mine) You know, there was a popular character on Saturday Night Life, named Pat. And when people saw Pat for the first time, they asked one question: “Is that a man or a woman?”. And asking that question isn’t a bad thing in video games. What if you came across a NPC that was an alien that looked neither male or female, but found out quickly that the alien is male? And if you are projecting yourself onto a character in a video game, that’s a sign that something isn’t quite right with you mentally. Saying “I want to look/be like link” is fine [idol worship], is not the same as “I AM link”, and that person might have mental issues and a hard time determining what is and isn’t real. And just because a character isn’t a specific gender to one’s liking, does not mean that there is something wrong with the game itself, nor does it mean that the game will promote sexism.
If in the next Zelda, Link were Link, and a woman, this would not be FemLink in opposition to BroLink. It would just be Link, oh BTW she’s female this time, NBD. Rather than reinforcing the notion of male as default, this would be actively challenging it. Challenging a view is done from the opposition of the subject at hand. Proponents of the subject have the right to change their own views on their own terms, and when and IF they choose to do so. Just because someone doesn’t like something, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s wrong. At the end of the day, the developers have the final say as to what they want in their game, and what their game is about. If you don’t like it, don’t play it. Or make your own. It really IS that simple. Who’s really stopping you? Think before you answer that question.
Linkle, however, does the opposite. By being so clearly, so emphatically identified through her name and her female signifiers as Not-Link, she only works to reaffirm the notion of male as default, the notion that male is standard and that maleness is essential to the identity of this set of legendary heroes. This statement would only be viable if it were factually accurate, as there are a ton of games that have female protagonists. Amazing Princess Sarah, The Metroid games, Tomb Raider games, countless indie dev games, the list goes on and on on on…To suggest that male characters are the “default”, means that the devs really didn’t give a damn about the game they were making, and went with a male for the main character. That is lazy as hell, and no developer thinks like that. Video games are a work of FICTION – they do not need to conform to any kind of individual standard when it comes to their story line and character design, and to suggest that’s the case, is beyond reasonable – it’s disturbing.
And if you think that all the hubbub about Linkle seems grossly out of proportion to Linkle, well, I can understand that. As Sarkeesian herself says in the Ms. Male Character video, “Taken on their own, each individual example…may seem relatively benign or trivial.” But the larger pattern throughout media as a whole is significant (as the video clearly demonstrates) and does reinforce perceptions about gender in our culture. The problem with our society, is we blame the media for our ills. Our society is formed on the consensus of what is and isn’t acceptable, and that is based on the will of society, NOT the media. A TV show, movie, video games, books does not make or define who a person is and what they will become, or make of their lives or even how they treat others – it is the personal experiences we have in our lives that make us so. To determine that a form of entertainment is responsible for society’s problems is a lazy analysis of the human condition, and just plain wrong.
Some people like to respond to critiques like this by saying “Nintendo can do whatever they want! You don’t get to dictate what they do with their characters!” And, yeah, of course! Nintendo can do whatever they want, and I can express my opinions about those creative decisions. My opinion is that, considering that Link is one of the most iconic heroes in gaming history, and since there’s no reason why Link can’t be female, it would be really exciting and really meaningful if Link (not Linkle or some other character expressly designated as Not-Link) were a woman at some point, and players of all genders got to project themselves onto that legendary hero. For once, I agree.You are entitled to have an opinion like everyone else – free country. But just because you have an opinion doesn’t mean that it should become canon. Having a personal preference as to how a game should be is a singular Point-Of-View, and should be taken as such, and because a game has something that you don’t like or approve of, does not mean that it will in some impossible fashion, affect the way our society functions, nor should it be blamed for society’s ills. And there never has been, nor will there ever be a reason to create anything, no matter what form its in or its context, nor does there really have to be a reason to create something or anything – just create.
And I know this is a rebuttal, but this is the end of it, so it’s ok: Feminist Frequency doesn’t get any of this, hence why they suck so much. Thank you for reading, everyone.
I hope you are doing well today. Spring has sprung in my neck of the woods, and I hope it is doing the same where you are.
Today (4/1/2016), I have discovered something pretty cool, the WordPress desktop app for Windows, and it’s perfect.
I don’t like to use the online editor in a browser, mainly because I sometimes need the browser off at times so I can focus on my work (Game design, VB.Net Programming), and there have been times that I close the tab for wordpress by accident – I have on average 20-25+ tabs open at one time, and I end up closing the wordpress tab every time.
It’s not fun.
But this desktop app…oh man. It’s exactly what I needed for my blogging. I used to use Windows Live Writer, but it’s out of date and I don’t think it’s going to get updated anytime soon. Since 2013, I have been trying to find a replacement for WLW, and now by complete accident, I stumbled onto this little gem of yours.
Now I can edit my blog the way I want without worrying about my broswer tabs AND can edit the blog settings all at once.
This is exactly what I wanted. To this end I ask for only one thing, and I do apologize if I come off as desperate:
PLEASE DON’T GET RID OF THE DESKTOP APP!
I’ve had so many desktop apps disappear since Windows 10 was released, and they were great, but some of their newer apps are quite lackluster. A good example: Tweetdeck from Twitter. They are getting rid of the Desktop version very soon, and relying on the web browser version has been disappointing.
I so need this app for the desktop, as it saves me a lot of trouble and hassle, so please keep working on it, improving it as needed and fixing bugs as they are discovered.
It would mean the world to me if you did that, as it makes blogging easier for me.
I thank you so much for taking the time to read this.
Over the Thanksgiving weekend, I read an BuzzFeed article about adult performer Stoya, who had tweeted that her ex-boyfriend and fellow adult performer James Deen had raped her while they were a couple. Before I continue, I want to say a few things about this:
IF Deen DID what he’s being accused of, he should answer for it.
If he DIDN’T do what he’s being accused of, he should have the right to defend himself, i.e. Due Process.
The focus of this blog is NOT on the allegations Stoya has made about Deen, but is instead about how SJWs REACTED to the comments I made about the article.
I was amazed in the comments section how people has just automatically assumed that Deen was guilty as sin. One or two tweets in the negative and the accusatory tones, and that makes a person they are directed at 100% guilty.
What. In. The. Fucking. Ass. Is. This…?
So I decided to throw in my two cents on the matter with the following post:
Shortly after that, they came.
Social Justice Warriors – armed to the teeth with seething comments, all with the intention of breaking my will, crushing my spirit, and spitting on me, like the scum they said I was.
Now I’m not going to post their replies to this comment, because I don’t want to give a single SJW the attention they are seeking when they do this shit, but most of them ran along the lines of how “”Disgusting” I am, and how I’m supporting a rapist, or something along those lines.
After a few moments, I posted again:
And the really is a scary thing. You don’t have to believe in Government and the Criminal Justice System, Due Process, or anything for that matter. Believe in whatever you want – live and let live I say to that, but, when you are on the internet, there IS a simple rule you DO have to follow, and it also applies to everything that’s not on the internet – Take everything you read/see/hear with a grain of salt.
That means that no matter what it is you are looking at, if the source is shaky or can be validated with proper research and sources, you’ve got to be a tad skeptical. Otherwise it just makes you look like a gullible idiot who will jump head first into the empty pool of conclusions without fear or concern.
So after a few more comments we made about me, I posted one final comment:
And yes, I was completely speechless at this point, not because I couldn’t come up with things to say, but that I was done saying what I needed to say. I got it all out and made some pretty strong points.
On the upside, it wasn’t all bad comments and sour notes: I did get a reply from one person in my favor:
Thanks Alejandro. Just a heads up – I was the first one who gave you a like on that comment. Nailed it on the head, dude. I’m sure there are more comments as of now more against me than for, but I really don’t care. I don’t take things at face value, there are two sides to every story, and I do love to do my research before making any final thoughts or forming my own opinions, you know, all the things Social Justice Warriors dislike.
As I stated before: I didn’t want to draw any attention to the SJWs, but, I do like to quote sources, so if you want to see the comments they posted to me, and in general about the article you can do that with the link below:
And remember – I’m anti-bullshit and Anti-asshole.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I really do have a lovely cup of tea here that’s starting to get cold. I hope everyone had a great Turkey Day, and I hope you all stayed your asses home on Black Friday, or as I call it “The running of the evil cheap bastards”.
Note: this blog is going to talk about a very sensitive topic of rape, and rape jokes. I recommend read it with an open mind. Failure to do that, and you’re only wasting your time, not mine.
Laci Green has said it. Men and women have said it. Talk shows and news reporters, people on Twitter and Facebook and Youtube, and just about every 3rd wave Feminist out there has said it:
“Rape is not funny!”
And this is true. Rape isn’t funny. Forcing a person into any kind of sex act isn’t funny, it’s a crime, and it should be reported ASAP. It’s not OK.
HOWEVER…JOKES about rape are perfectly fine. 100% OK. – For serious. I can feel it already:
The sudden moment of surprise that I said that.
An increase in blood pressure
a strong urge to kick my ass
an even stronger urge to blow up my twitter, and just let me have it.
If you are mad, and choose now to stop reading and act out, congrats on being closed-minded to the point you straight up REFUSE to accept or consider a different point of view. Well done.
If you are still reading this, thank you for keeping an open mind. If you make it to the very end, you’ll get a pretty funny reward. One thing that has always been true about comedy: You always take shots from people who just don’t get the joke. It’s what comes with being a comedian, or having a sense of humor. Now even though this subject can cover any kind of joke, I’m going to keep it to the rape jokes, because those seem to get the most funk nowadays.
Now if you are still reading this, you might be thinking that , in a sense that this blog is supporting this thing called “Rape Culture”. A few things that we need to get out of the way about rape jokes, and there alleged “supporting” of “Rape Culture”. Let’s clear the air on that notion:
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS “RAPE CULTURE”. IT DOESN’T REALLY EXIST AT ALL. STOP PURPORTING THAT IT’S A REAL THING THAT IS GAINING GROUND.
If it’s one thing that can be said about rapists, they are opportunistic assholes. There is no single scientific theory that conclusively explains the motivation for rape; the motives of rapists can be multi-factorial and are subject to debate. One thing for sure, is that there isn’t a group of people out there, who get together and dream about raping women – that’s just crazy, and telling a joke about rape isn’t going to exacerbate the problem. People are not going to get raped because someone made fun of it in some way.
Like I said before, any topic and subject can be made into a joke. Sometimes you’ll laugh at a joke, and sometimes you won’t. It doesn’t mean that you should and must stand on a soapbox and protest your ass off, all the while doing nothing else.
A joke is a joke. Nothing more.
Another thing that we should get out of the way on rape jokes: laughing at one doesn’t make you a bad person. It means that you get the joke, you found it funny, and it tickled your funny bone. That’s was a joke is. That’s the main purpose of a joke, the ultimate goal in its existence – to make you laugh. A joke is going to have shock value in it sometimes, it’s going to make you say “you did not just say that” as you are trying not to choke on the drink you were in the middle of enjoying as you got the punchline.
In addition, we laugh at these kind of jokes all the time, mainly because they are told well. Don’t believe me? I can prove it: Below is a clip from an episode of “Family Guy”, in which Peter gets raped…by a bug.
See? I’m pretty sure that you laughed your ass off, or maybe got a chuckle. It’s ok if you did. It’s funny (to me at least), and if you find it funny too, that’s ok. The joke did what it was intended to do. Mission accomplished.
What’s That? You are still not convinced? OK. Let me point out another thing about Rape jokes – the reason some people laugh and some don’t, is based solely on the the eye of the beholder. Something being funny, or scary, or gross, sexy, evil, good, awesome, the list goes on…its based on one’s perception of what is and isn’t appealing. It’s the reason people are and aren’t ok with these jokes, and believe it or not, its not the main problem with rape jokes. Not by a longshot. I’ll explain what the actual problem is at the end of the blog…and yes, there is more to talk about.
The main issue people have against these kind of jokes, is that they are offending the very people they have actually been raped. I can tell you right now that yes, that IS an honest, highly valid and fair reason to not like these jokes. But, that is also the reason it’s unfair to disapprove these jokes right off.
While it is true that there are people who have been raped, and are trying hard to live with that fact (and I do feel for you ), it’s not the fault or responsibility of the person telling the joke. No one in the world is psychic – a comedian can’t read your mind anymore than I can about what others have dealt with, and what they are going through. That is not the point of telling a joke – it’s not about sparing anyone’s feelings or being sensitive to them. The goal of any joke is to make you LAUGH, and this is achieved by making fun of something. And you can find humor in anything. Just don’t have a shitty delivery.
Comedians get a ton of flack for the jokes they tell nowadays. Yes, sometimes they’ll miss the mark, but not every joke they tell is bad. It’s all about the delivery. Poor delivery = poor joke. And if they tell a poor joke, THEN you have a reason to be upset, although not by much. Let’s prove it again with yet another rape joke, from “Family Guy”. Peter, yet again gets violated – but this time, by a bull – and by Meg with a loofah.
Now, there might be a possibility that somehow, someone may have been violated with a foreign object in the shower (Meg and the loofah), but here is the question: is it the responsibility of the creator of those jokes to take responsibility for not being sensitive to rape victims?
The answer is NO – it’s really not. We cannot blame entertainment for society Ills (That says ‘ILLS’, btw. It’s not a typo). As I have said before, its easy to blame a TV show, a movie, video game, or any form of entertainment for the reason things are so fucked up, but the truth is that we, the people of society, mess each other up.
Society is to blame for society’s problems, not our entertainment, and that includes Rape jokes. Telling/listening/laughing at a joke is not going to make anything worse or better. Like I said before – A joke is a joke.
This is something that I learned a long time ago, from someone who genuinely knew what the fuck he was talk about: The late comedian George Carlin. I managed to find the video clip of him talking about rape on YouTube. It’s down below, and I strongly encourage you to watch it from start to finish.
Now I might be a little off on the time, but I believe that this skit was done in the late 1980’s, early 1990’s. This skit is 9+ MINUTES long, and joking about rape. Did you hear anyone in the audience booing and fussing over what he said? Did you hear anyone say “That’s not funny”?
NO. It was a good series of jokes with perfect delivery. Time to ask yourself some questions:
Did you get raped after hearing those jokes?
Did it make you want to rape someone?
Do you have a newfound desire to rape someone?
I won’t be surprised if the answers to all of those questions are a resounding “NO”. The only reason anyone should ever not like a joke, is if the delivery sucks. And yes, you and others like you are doing to not certain jokes, but its not your place or charge to tell people that it’s not ok to laugh at the joke. Humor is in the eye of the beholder, and every eye is different. If you don’t like a joke, that’s fine. If a joke offends you, just walk away and find something else.
It’s ok to laugh at a good rape joke. You are not hurting anyone, or making things in society worse in any way when you do.
To end this blog, I’ll go with this one last video that I‘ve always found funny as fuck. And yes, it’s from ‘Family Guy’. Feel free to take from it what you will. Thanks for reading.
Today, I learned that Playboy, the cornerstone that started the concept of reading amazing articles and enjoying looking at naked women in tasteful poses, has decided to take the route Maxim has, and is doing away with nudes. Starting in March 2016, women will no longer show themselves in the buff.
This will effect the print edition of the magazine, and is being done in an effort to boost print sales at newsstands. If would so push the magazine from the adults only section and into (I’m only guessing) general section with other magazines.
And I, from my own observations can tell you right from the jump – that this isn’t going to work.
A little trip down memory lane: I remember the very first “Lad’s mag” I ever got, and it was the now defunct Gear Magazine, back in the mid-1990’s. It was that issue that had a then barely legal Jessica Biel in a state of undress, and it was a very good issue and photo spread. That issue caused so much controversy when it came out, because Biel at the time was on an highly popular FAMILY show called “7th Heaven”, where Biel was no where near close to going or looking sexy in any aspect.
That issue of Gear was so popular that the only way I could get a copy of it, was via back order. It sold like hotcakes when it came out.
It wasn’t just the controversy that got me interested in getting that magazine, but the fact that I could look at something that was legal to obtain and that I could call my own and enjoy. Gear was a great magazine, and it went belly up a few years later, when Maxim and FHM started to publish.
What drew me to those Magazines was, of course the celebrities in sexy bikini’s and lingerie, and yes the articles (Fun fact: men REALLY DO READ THE ARTICLES in these magazines. Sorry I don’t live up to the stigma ladies).
That was the thing with Lad’s Mags – they are a mix of interesting articles, and mixed in with tasteful nudity, and a reasonable amount of ads.
That’s what made them great. They were the perfect mix of innocent and sinful, where both sides of the equator were in a win-win situation every time you picked up a issue.
We jump forward to the now, and sadly, today that formula has changed. In order to keep the print versions of the magazines viable, and to make them more “appealing” to wider audience, they have chosen to dial back on the nudity. Now I know and accept that things change, and I’m not bothered by this fact that will continue even after I’m long and gone from this earth – what bothers me is that this is a change in the wrong direction.
I get that the publishers of these magazines want to stay in business and are looking to increase their subscription base, but I think there was/is a better way to do that.
The proof is in the one of the magazines that have made this change to the formula earlier this year: Maxim Magazine. This magazine is the magazine I know I could read, without having some kind of label being put on me, and that I could read in the open and wouldn’t have to worry about anyone looking over my shoulder, or being offended.
All that changed in February 2015. I read Maxim magazine every time I got it. I even collected a few issues. But then, in February 17th , 2015 the face of the magazine changed big time. Before the changes, the magazine cover looked like this:
You could tell beforehand what was in the magazine, before you even opened it up. I actually have this issue, and I read it cover to cover, and it was a great issue. Even the Turducken recipe was pretty cool. I knew what I was looking forward to, and I was never disappointed. Not once. They even talked about Movies, Video games, technology and while it did have ads, they weren’t always in your face every time you turned the page. It’s easy to read and you got your monies worth.
But now, The Magazine looks like this:
Um…ok. So, I see a woman’s face, it’s provocative, I guess, but who is she? I don’t know. So I opened up the magazine, and I still don’t know what is happening. At this point, I’m flipping through the magazine, and trying to understand when the magazine’s original content starts and when the ads end. Yes, the first thing I run into is ads. I forget how many pages, but it was more then 10.
That’s when I knew I wasn’t going to like this.
After going thru the mountain of ads in the beginning of the mag, I FINALLY found the table of contents, which was only one page long, and more ads followed after that, again I lose count. When I finally do reach an article that doesn’t look like it might be an ad, I try to read it, only to learn the the text is too small to read comfortably in any light. Now I do wear glasses, and I keep them clean, and my vision isn’t getting worse either (Last checkup was a few months ago, showed no change in vision). What is worse, the article was able to be finished up in 3/4 of a single page.
Just what the sam crazy is going on?
By the time I get to the lady in the photoshoot, they go on for several pages, uninterrupted. But there is nothing inspiring about the pictures at all. Nothing. Woman wearing swimwear or lingerie, and the venue is always the same: Bedroom or Beach. It’s a one note. After that, a few articles mixed in with a TON of ads.
The current issue (September 2015), follows the same layout. I have this issue in front of me, and I’m using it now for this blog. On the Cover:
Seriously, what the hell is going on here? Also, Playboy did this FIRST. Have a man on the cover of a Lad’s mag. Way to be original, Maxim.
So, I’m looking at this magazine, and already I have had to flip thru 21 pages of ads, mostly containing dudes wearing products I’m not really interested in, with on occasion, a woman next to them.
21 Pages of THIS.
On page 22, I get to the Table of Contents. It’s only one page, lists 4 featured articles, has a picture of actress Natasha Liu Bordizzo soon to star in the new ‘Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: The Green Legend’ movie, and what appears to be a dude cutting into a pair of pants, or some type of fabric. On the page adjacent, another ad, this time about about shoes and accessories for men.
Oh my what?
Turning the page, the second Table of Contents, same layout, but with Actor Idris Elba, looking like he is trying to eyefuck me – I tried not to curse in this blog, but fuck it, we reached the ”What the Fuck” limit 2 paragraphs ago. Oh, and there are 6 articles on nothing but styles for guys.
Back to counting the ads…one…Another TOC PAGE…
WHY NOT JUST HAVE THE FUCKING TOC PAGES TOGETHER?! FUCK!
Ok, If I keep doing a play by play here, I’ll never get this blog finished today. While there are some segments they kept, it’s all scattered around. I can never really tell which is and isn’t an ad, and even though I did see a model here and there, It looked more like a simple mention more than anything else. The magazine is more of a sausage fest than anything.
Now, I don’t see Playboy going this way. I’m sure we will know what the magazine is all about, and I hope it doesn’t become bogged down with ads like Maxim.
What I’m saying is that Lad’s Mags ran and functioned under the balance of smart articles, humor and nudity. That’s what made them worthwhile. That’s what made them unique and amazing.
Now, they are starting to stray away from that formula, the core that made them great, and in doing so, they have becoming a shadow of their former self.
They are becoming unbalanced, and the only people who are in praise of this, are the people who never really liked the magazines in the first place.
I’d rather the Print editions of Maxim, Playboy and any other magazine with a similar style and feel, go 100% digital and go back to what made them great, than try to continue this farce. There was a time I was strongly thinking of selling, or just giving my Issues of Playboy away, but after learning about the changes, I’m going to take them with me to the grave.
Before I forget, here is the cover of the very first issue of Playboy I ever bought. It’s the November 2000 Print Issue which I got November 18th, 2000 on a snowy afternoon.
I feel it’s best to post this cover, as it’s most likely the cover won’t look like this anymore come 2016.
Yesterday (9/9/2015), I was going through the people I follow on twitter, cleaning up the accounts that are no longer in service or have been inactive (I removed 60, btw – yikes), when I noticed that there was one account that was missing: Taylor Stevens (@TAYSTEVENS).
We follow each other on twitter, and when I have the time, I try to promote her account as best I can – I’ve slacked off on this a great deal, along with the Title is Pending Blog and twitter, where said promotions are to take place. So I went over to the twitter account link: only to find this:
Ah yes. I’ve been there. I’ve seen this warning quite a number of times in my digital life on Twitter. At first, I thought it was Twitter Jail – maybe she posted something that “Triggered” some asshat, or maybe it was some prude with a chip on his/her shoulder – either way, and I speak from personal experience on this, Twitter Jail is the fucking bullshit balls. No matter what the reason, being banned from Twitter can be a major hindrance. Personal/Business/Branding usage all come to a grinding halt, using accounts that are created by Twitter connect is a nightmare (No password to use or reset).
Getting back to the business at hand…The account suspension. The reason Taylor’s twitter account was suspended, was due to hackers. Some punk tried to hack their way into the account, and it appears that Taylor managed to stop it in time, so until it’s all sorted out, her account has been suspended.
I DID manage to get in touch with her from another account. For security, in case this happens again, I’ve redacted the username and twitter avatar (Read from the bottom upwards):
So as you can see, She’ll return to the twitterverse soon, and is going to be at tonight’s Patriots vs. Steelers game tonight. She’ll also be tweeting from the @chiksnpiks Twitter account, which you can follow here.
If anyone asks about Taylor’s account, please point them to this blog post, and I’ll pass the word on to other boobie bloggers.
Not long ago, “Modern Family” actress Arial Winter underwent breast reduction surgery, going from a 32F Bra size to a 34D.
Several entertainment news sites cited that it was because of back pain, and she was getting tired of having to strap down her chest while she was filming for “Modern Family”, which is completely understandable – I’m not a woman, and just thinking having to do that, every day you had to shoot a scene, sounds terrible as fuck. I can get, and stand by Ariel’s choice to get a breast reduction in that aspect. The same goes for any other woman who chooses to get a breast reduction for that matter…
…what I CAN’T agree with, is the SECOND reason Winter went through with this.
The following statement is a quote from Ms. Winter, from an article from the Washington Times. The full article can be found here, and I’ll post a screenshot of the article on the website, because I have noticed that since this has happened, many articles have redacted the original versions, and I’m NOT OK with that:
Ms. Winter said the misogynistic attention she’s received since she was 15 made her feel uncomfortable in her own skin.
“The Internet bullies are awful. I could post a photo where I feel good, and 500 people will comment about how fat I am and that I am disgusting,” she told Glamour. “It made me feel really uncomfortable because as women in the industry, we are totally over sexualized and treated like objects.”
What the fuck?
THIS, is what bothers me with breast reduction surgery: It’s not the choice of reducing the breast size, it’s the fact that women are choosing to have this procedure because assholes make them feel uncomfortable about having large breasts. The definition of the word “misogyny” is the dislike of, contempt for, or ingrained prejudice against women. It doesn’t matter how big or small your boobs are, and getting breast reduction surgery won’t change a thing – misogynists hate women, and getting this surgery won’t change that fact.
What ever happened to telling people to fuck off? What happened to people saying “I don’t give a fuck what you think of my body, go fuck yourself!”?
What the hell happened to this:
Women are so worried about someone getting turned on the second they see them. That’s normal sexual behavior – People are going to look at you, and some of them will get turned on, and become sexually attracted. What women are calling “objectification and oversexualization” is actually NORMAL HUMAN NATURE – you see someone with a attractive body, you’ll take notice . Having people be attracted to your physique, or certain parts of it, is a normal reaction, and is NOT a valid reason to get a breast reduction. There are women who like and prefer a large penis, does that mean that a guy should get a penis reduction because women are looking at his wangus all the time? If it makes zero sense in one way, it won’t make any sense in the other way.
Is the procedure going to stop anyone from looking at them in a sexual way? No. And it’s sure as fuck not going to stop misogynists from doing their thing. Misogynists HATE WOMEN. Your bra size won’t change that at all.
To all the women who are thinking of having their breasts reduced, here are some very valid questions that all women should ask themselves:
How does getting breast reduction surgery STOP or STIFLE misogynistic attention?
Why should you, a woman, have to change anything about yourself so people can respect you?
Are you doing this because you are in pain, or to shut people up?
As I have said before, and this is my official stance on this: ANY medical procedure that can help improve the mental, emotional and physical state of a person is ok, and that does include breast reduction. But the second, THE VERY SECOND, you have a procedure just to shut someone else up, or to think that it will stop assholes from messing with you, or because you are tired of all the attention you are getting, then you are doing it for all the wrong reasons. Because if it’s one thing that I know about assholes: You can change anything and everything about yourself – the only thing they will do, is find something else to pick at.
The ONLY way to stop an asshole, is to stand up to them, and tell them to go fuck themselves. Getting any cosmetic work of any kind will not change people’s perceptions of you, or give you the backbone to stand up against assholes. I could get a penis enlargement right now, and I know it won’t boost my confidence – I’ll still be me with a bigger dick.
Change because YOU WANT TO, not because you are being pressured into changing.
Below is the original article as printed Aug. 14, 2015, and authored by Jessica Chasmar for The Washington Times.
**NOTE: before I even begin, I want to say that the following post is going to contain reaction videos of people who are responding to things that they have seen and heard about themselves on the internet. I want to be clear that I am in no way mocking, harassing, or making fun of them in any way of any kind. I’m just giving my two cents here, you don’t have to agree with me, but you do have to let me have a say on it. If you are not up to reading this blog, and/or can’t keep an open mind about what I’m saying, Stop here, and move on to something else. Thank you.**
I came across something on YouTube today. It’s from a cosplayer named SuperMaryFace who is upset that images of her face are being used in a sexually aggressive manner by someone online. She won’t say who, and that is fine – I’m not into the headhunting thing either, unless it’s a true asshole, then all bets are off, but that’s not the case here.
The video is 9 minutes long, and I recommend watching it from start to finish, as it’s the basis of this blog:
For those of you who didn’t watch the video, here is a description of what the problem is:
G’day Everyone! I didn’t say the account name because I don’t want you harassing this person. To them it was probably an honest “mistake” (taking someone’s photos and using them to act out rape scenes is a bit of an extreme mistake but let’s let it pass). This video is to inform everyone of how it feels to be “role played” without giving consent. This is a much bigger deal than just one instagram account.
““role played” without giving consent.” – that’s a weird thing to say, and it makes no sense at all. What she is talking about is how people Photoshop (and quite poorly I might add) the faces of people and paste them onto other bodies, most of the time the bodies are nude and sometimes in a state of sexual congress…and SuperMaryFace is upset and hurt over that. The account in question was making a spam account – it used her likeness and was clearly a spam account (someone pretending to be her) and it was posting pictures of her, with the words slut, whore and other vulgar stuff, including pictures of her involved in a rape scenario, and in sexual congress.
She compared what she saw to “someone invading her home”, and the pictures give her a physical state of panic. She is upset that her pics are being used in a pornographic manner on Instagram. And she is not ok with it. She actually stopped the plans she had for the day – it effected her a great deal.
There are a few things that bother me about this: The first thing that bothers me is her reaction to this account. In the video, she “explains” why this is so upsetting to her – she doesn’t like it and it makes her uncomfortable. Um…yeah. Anyone who sees something like that would make anyone uncomfortable, but that doesn’t explain the reason as to WHY she is reacting like this. This pictures are depicting her in rape fantasy scenes. BUT SHE HERSELF WASN’T RAPED, NOR IN ANY DANGER OF ANY KIND.
I do think it’s ok for her to be upset about it – no argument there. I wouldn’t like it if someone took my likeness and put it into an unflattering image, post unsavory comments and maybe even make captions of it that rub me the wrong way, that’s a given – but to get upset and start crying over it? No, that’s just too much.
Look, I can get that she doesn’t like someone else pretending to be her, using her pics and her likeness – that’s not ok for ANYONE to do, EVER…But there is no need to cry over this, and what is happening here is NOTHING NEW AT ALL.
Models from all kinds don’t like their images being used like this, and they have a right to get angry about it, but to start crying and being all nervous and just let it ruin your day? Come on.
We KNOW she is a Cosplayer, and enjoys it a great deal. Excellent. Good for her, I say. Do what makes you happy.
People, regardless of their gender, are going to think of people in a sexual way. I’m not saying that what this did was right or wrong, I’m saying that this is a thing that happens , and it happens A LOT, and it comes out in different ways. Superimposing a model’s face onto a naked body is one of those things – that’s something that’s been going on for over a decade.
The second thing that twists me up, is where she says in the description“This video is to inform everyone of how it feels to be “role played” without giving consent.” – what the fuck is that? Sexual fantasies come from your brain, are boundless and are different across the board. Saying something like this, is exactly the equivalent to saying something like “If you want to think of me in a sexual way, you need my permission, first“.
What the sam crazy?
The Third thing that sticks in my side, is the whole premise of the video. She is asking people to stop doing this kind of thing, but at the same time admits that she can’t stop them. So what is the point of this video? To me, she is saying, and I’m paraphrasing here:
“I know you can’t and won’t stop thinking of me in a sexual and vulgar manner, but please try to stop, it’s making me shaky. ”
What she really wants, is for this guy to be reported on Instagram, so that he can stop impersonating her and altering her pics and the content can be taken down, which is fine, but she didn’t give us the means to stop that from happening. Yes, Instagram’s TOS says that kind of content isn’t allowed at all on their service, and encourages users to report it, but by not telling us the account name, it’s going to keep on going.
And the very last thing is where she says that the captions that she was using “it felt like her home was being invaded” – NO. JUST. NO.
Someone taking a picture of you, and superimposing this picture into another one, regardless of the content, and without your consent, IS NOT REMOTELY CLOSE to experiencing a home invasion.
15 years ago, MY HOME was invaded. it was 11:15pm, and I forgot the screen door to the back was unlocked. There are two doors – the main door, and the outer screen door. I was coming up from the basement, when halfway up the stairs, I saw the main back door open. It was a windy night, so I thought the wind blew the door open a bit. The main door was unlocked, and the screen door was unlocked too. If my dog hadn’t been in the kitchen at the time, she wouldn’t have barked and scared him/her/whoever off.
THAT was a scary night, and it took a long time to get over that moment. If I had to choose between reliving that moment, or having someone put my face onto a picture of whatever, I choose the former. And no, they are not the same.
There is no need for her to cry over this, and handle it in such a passive aggressive manner.
People are, have and will continue to do this sort of thing. Assholes are going to make false accounts of people. People they are going to use the content you post, and pass it as their own. People are gonna do this shit. Haters gonna hate.
There this no need to stop doing what you want. Don’t cry about it, or be sheepish about how to deal with it. Ignore the haters, report the fakers, and don’t take it so seriously. It’s JUST PICTURES. They don’t represent who you really are.
**Note: I want to make it clear that it’s the concept of this program that I have trouble with, and despite the content of this blog, that really is the focus of this rant/bash.**
I want you to take a look at the following picture:
For those of you familiar with, and most likely fans of the show that is “The Bachelorette”, you see this is the current group of men this season, I think(?), that are competing for the love a single woman, who wants to find her special someone among these sharp-dressed suitors…(I don’t really pay any attention to this show, btw)
To me, I see 25 men who are trying really hard to get their cocks past the thin protective layer of the bachelorette’s panties. If I sound jaded, I’m not. I’m just calling it as I see it.
This is not a quest for love and happiness – this is a quest to fuck a woman, and brag all about it on national TV.
I have given this show many titles over the years it’s been on. Some include:
FUCK QUEST – LADIES TURN! (and no, the Caps Lock was not stuck when I typed that)
An ass-backwards orgy
Too desperate for a fuckin’
That’s just a small sample, and not even close to the full list. And the reason so many people don’t see it like that? is because they are all a flutter about the show’s ‘concept’ –
A single bachelorette dates multiple men over several weeks, narrowing them down to hopefully find her true love.
That is from the IMDB listing. You can see it for yourself here. You’ll also see this image next to it:
That’s the current Bachelorette (I think?), wearing a dress made of roses. Apologies for the quality of the picture, but I did put this blog together at a moments notice…and I REALLY don’t want to spend any more time than it’s worth working on this shit.
But the point I’m trying to make is thus: the reason so many people DO NOT see the show from my perspective, is because they are all caught up in the drama and the romance, and the big house and wonderful décor, the music score so sweet you’ll get type 1 diabetes in 10 seconds.
ABC – that’s the network that spearheads this show (duh), has done everything it can to make this show so amazingly sick ass cute that it makes sure you forget the downside to it – this group of men, and the one woman they are trying to win over, are all going to get hurt…badly…which brings us to the RETURN OF ALL THE GUYS SHE LET GO FROM THE SHOW.
What the fuck is this shit?!
Can you imagine if you were on a TV show, and millions of people from all walks of life watch you explain and defend your actions to every person you dumped, and maybe even humped? What’s worse is that these guys will get to know each other, and that means that people will like/dislike/hate on/and just be total dick wads to one another.
And they will all be there, with chips on their shoulders, and you have to answer to all of them. And to add insult to injury, you are also in front of a LIVE STUDIO AUIDENCE.
HOLY. FUCKING. SHITNUGGETS.
I get that looking for love is a hard thing – I spent 10 years looking for it, and coming up jerking off to a memory of a scene from an erotic movie that used to air on Cinemax in the late-90’s/early 2000’s, and maybe that 3 seconds of scrambled PPV Porn on cable that got unscrambled and you saw a boob (Don’t give me any guff about that, – we all did that shit. Don’t judge).
Getting back to the point: Looking for love is hard – finding that special someone is no easy task, and it can be so hurtful that you want to give up – and it pisses me off that these people are willing to put their asses out there, for all the world to see and mock, cry and relate to, complain, pester, and in this case explain as to why she choose that guy instead of the other guy.
I myself can’t really complain too much, as reality shows are my guilty pleasure to a fault. Some still are, because they haven’t strayed too far from a really good concept and design they started out with. But they are overshadowed with all this crazy ass crap that getting all the high ratings for all the wrong reasons.
The major thing that bothers be the most about this show (more so than the concept of this program), is the slut shaming of The Bachelorette. I don’t see anything wrong with a woman having sex at her leisure. There is NOTHING wrong with a woman having sex with different people of her choosing, and if you have a problem with it, that’s on you, not them.
That’s the whole point about a woman being allowed to do whatever she wants, remember? You can go ahead and not like it to your heart’s content, but no matter what, you still have to respect it.
(*cough* *cough* Don’t be a Hypocrite *cough* *cough**cough*)
But no matter what, this show sucks so much ass. I have no fucking idea what the fuck happened to Reality TV Shows, but this just insults everyone all around, and from what I’ve seen, only very few people will stand up and say so, myself included.
All I can say, is that if you REALLY want to watch a bunch of dudes “compete” for ass, there is a porn movie called “The Bachelorette It’s A XXX Spoof” – yes, that is the actual title. It’s mainly the same thing that you see on TV, but with less fluff, and and tons on sex.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to pour bleach into my eyeballs.
Correction: The earlier release of this blog post, had the sentence “Transracial is not a real thing.” – this was incorrect, and is a left over from a very early draft, BEFORE any research had been done. Transracial IS a real thing, and Rachel Dolezal’s definition is grossly incorrect. I regret the error.
Dear Rachel Dolezal,
I am a black man. I was born that way. Both my parents are black, and thus so am I. I know that racism is still a problem in this day and age, and I once dealt with it very briefly in my life. I know that racial profiling exists, and there are people who judge others by their ethnicity and skin color…
But despite all of that, I am proud to be black. I am proud of the color of my skin. I ‘m comfortable in the skin I’m in.
I know that we all envision how we want to look, and even how we want our lives to be, i.e. the dream life, but it’s just that – a dream. While I respect your passion for the black community, and your interest in its culture and history, I must tell you that I am disappointed in how you went getting into it.
You are NOT black, or African-American or whatever terminology that is politically correct these days. You seem to be a smart person, who many skills and talents, so why pretend to be something you clearly are not?
We are all born the way we are. Our sexual identity, our likes and dislikes, our persona, our strengths and weaknesses, and the color of our own skin – we were born this way.
You can’t keep this going anymore. Because while you are doing so, you are also being prejudiced against your own people…and I’m not referring to the black community when I say that.
You are a white woman – there is no denying that. We all see it and know it. You know this to be true too, and to me, there is nothing wrong with that. So why rebel against it? Why deny it? Why be racist against your own ethnic group?
The NAACP was more than willing to stand by you after the truth came out, and from what I read, I don’t think they were doing to fire you at all, so why resign? I think it would have been amazing and progressive for a white person to be part of the NAACP, in strong support of the black community. I think that would have been awesome, and I , a man of color, would have had ZERO ISSUES with that.
I cannot and will not try to tell you how to live your life. If you choose to continue on living like this, on your head be it. But please, PLEASE don’t pretend to be something you are not. You are not just lying to everyone else, but you are lying to the one person that matters the most: Yourself.
Be comfortable and accepting of the skin you live in. Stereotypes mean nothing. Be you. The real you. Good luck.
I have been a twitter user since 2009. I currently have 3 active accounts, and I have deleted my @PlayBoyMan account once, due to aggressive bot following and spamming (I had 10,000 followers on the old PlayBoyMan account, over 8500 of them were bots).
But no matter what accounts I’ve had, I have always learned that it is ok to speak your mind, even if you only have 140 characters to work with. Just be responsible with how you express what you are feeling. It’s all about the execution.
Sadly, as with any social media outlet, there is always going to be a influx of people, who don’t know how to do this, and they go overboard big time. No matter the social platform, no matter the topic, you are always going to find a small group of people who are able to talk out of their ass with little to no effort.
Most of these reactions are based on anger and misinformation. There is little to no self control with people who don’t have a filter, or a way of being tactful in how to express what they are feeling. And not surprisingly, I recently stumbled into a good example of such actions.
About a few days ago, I came across a person being a dickstain, to a really nice dude I’ve known for quite some time. The whole time, the dickstain was being all disrespectful to just about everyone in the chat (This happened on a streaming site, btw. I don’t go into whose chat this happened in, nor will I drop any names), and as a reward of his behavior, he was rightfully timed out for 10 minutes.
After 10 minutes past, the douche came back, being all apologetic to everyone, including myself (Yes, he was being a dickhead to me too), and kept talking about what he had posted on his twitter. He basically went on a rant about being timed out, saying all kinds of bullshit. He even went as far as to tell everyone what his twitter account was, so we could all see what it was he typed – he took a snapshot of his phone.
I managed to save the image to my computer, and after some editing (removing usernames), I can show it to you below. Here is what a Douchebag looks like when he/she is ranting. Be advised that what you are about to read is vulgar and offensive, and not for sensitive readers:
As you can see, that’s not a very nice thing to do to someone, whose only crime was timing you out for being a douche to people. It’s ok to get upset about something, and it’s ok to speak your mind, but you need to have a level of tactfulness when doing so. Opening the floodgates and letting whatever comes to your mind just spew out like projectile vomit, without any regard to others who might also take offense, is just a bad idea.
This dude didn’t even bother to remove the image from his twitter, and the fact the he did everything to bring it to everyone’s attention in chat was clearly bragging. He was proud of it, and was trying to get even more people to give him a reason to start more shit. No one fell for his obvious trap, and he left the chat.
You can be just about ANYTHING in this world, and you can project any type of style and persona in social media…Just please, for the love of all that is good and pure – DO NOT BE A DOUCHE. You are not being clever, or funny, or nice.
There is something that is really important that I want to say to all of you.
I have been on the internet for quite a long time now. I begun my digital life in 1997, via dial-up on a really shitty, and at the time very expensive computer. I have seen so much – good things , bad things, weird/stupid/annoying shit, and yes, my fair share of porn.
There were times when I walked away from the internet. There were times where it became too much to handle. There were times where I just decided it was time to give up and walk away for good…
But out of all that, there is and was always something that kept me coming back…
…and that’s thing is you – the people I have called my friends.
I have met so many people online, from all walks of life: porn stars, bloggers, podcasters, gamers, TV Celebrities, youtubers, and an asshole named Gary and his shitty girlfriend who broke a DVD (yes, I’m STILL holding a grudge on that).
I’ve been to so many places on the web, and have had the pleasure of running in so many circles with so many different groups of peoples.
As of late, I’ve been busy in my personal life, and that has caused me to lose touch with some, if not most of you. I haven’t been tweeting much, personal posts to Facebook are almost non-existent, podcasts are not on schedule, blogs are all dated by weeks if not months.
I’ve been out of touch, on a lot of things. And I’m sorry about that.
I have gotten some messages in my email, asking me “Where are you, dude? Are you alright? Where have you been?”
It’s become quite the commonplace in my inbox, and I think it’s time I address that. I know I’ve gone the long way around in what I need to say, so let’s make the long story short:
I haven’t forgotten about any of you. All of my friends are still friends. Life just got in the way, and I need to make adjustments on a lot of things. Don’t take it personally. No need to get upset, and no need to worry.
I’m still here, and I’ll be more diligent in keeping in better touch with all of you.
I’m going to share something with all of you. I don’t really care if anyone likes it or not. I’m not on a soapbox, I’m not making any jokes, ranting and raving, or kidding around.
I am a 35 Year old man, and I have a lot of hats to wear in my life.
I’m a brother and a son, A Boyfriend and a lover, A Gamer, Blogger, Podcaster, A friend, and most importantly, a human being.
There are some people who think that it is easy being a man. I should be able to get what I want because I’m a male, in a male-dominated society. I don’t express my feelings, I don’t cry, or care about the little things, and everything I do comes in a nice nifty package – all because I have a dick instead of a pussy.
I can tell you right now: That is utter bullshit.
I am so many things to so many people that I care about, all of them expect so many different things from me, and most of the time, they misinterpret what I’m doing and saying.
I do my best to get things done. To complete my tasks, and reach my goals. There is a ton of things I must do, and trying to keep it all in the balance is difficult as fuck.
There are days where I feel I’m going to lose my fucking mind over all of this. Like I’ll never get ahead on anything, that I’m always coming up short.
Don’t get me wrong: I don’t lack confidence in myself. I know I’ll get where I need and want to be in life, in due time. But there are days when Fate, God, or whatever deity you choose to believe feels like piling it on.
If its not something else that comes up, it’s something that I forgot I needed to do. If its not something that I don’t see coming, its something dumb or stupid that I did way back when to remind me “Yep, you did that dumb shit”.
No matter what I’m doing, or how fast I go…No matter how much I have going on at once, or what I finish first, More stuff just seems to pile on.
No matter what I do, no matter what that thing is, there is always something.
Being me is not easy, for I have many layers. It’s not 100% straightforward, and you can’t sum me up in 140 characters.