Shooting cocks in a barrel–the quest of “The Bachelorette”


**Note: I want to make it clear that it’s the concept of this program that I have trouble with, and despite the content of this blog, that really is the focus of this rant/bash.**

I want you to take a look at the following picture:

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For those of you familiar with, and most likely fans of the show that is “The Bachelorette”, you see this is the current group of men this season, I think(?),  that are competing for the love a single woman, who wants to find her special someone among these sharp-dressed suitors…(I don’t really pay any attention to this show, btw)

To me, I see 25 men who are trying really hard to get their cocks past the thin protective layer of the bachelorette’s panties. If I sound jaded, I’m not. I’m just calling it as I see it.

This is not a quest for love and happiness – this is a quest to fuck a woman, and brag all about it on national TV.

I have given this show many titles over the years it’s been on. Some include:

  • Cock Wars
  • Desperate Penises
  • FUCK QUEST – LADIES TURN! (and no, the Caps Lock was not stuck when I typed that)
  • An ass-backwards orgy
  • Too desperate for a fuckin’

That’s just a small sample, and not even close to the full list. And the reason so many people don’t see it like that? is because they are all a flutter about the show’s ‘concept’ –

A single bachelorette dates multiple men over several weeks, narrowing them down to hopefully find her true love.

That is from the IMDB listing. You can see it for yourself here. You’ll also see this image next to it:

MV5BMTM5NTAzNDc5NV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMzQ5NTU1OQ@@._V1_SY317_CR12,0,214,317_AL_

That’s the current Bachelorette (I think?), wearing a dress made of roses. Apologies for the quality of the picture, but I did put this blog together at a moments notice…and I REALLY don’t want to spend any more time than it’s worth working on this shit.

But the point I’m trying to make is thus: the reason so many people DO NOT see the show from my perspective, is because they are all caught up in the drama and the romance, and the big house and wonderful décor, the music score so sweet you’ll get type 1 diabetes in 10 seconds.

ABC – that’s the network that spearheads this show (duh), has done everything it can to make this show so amazingly sick ass cute that it makes sure you forget the downside to it – this group of men, and the one woman they are trying to win over, are all going to get hurt…badly…which brings us to the RETURN OF ALL THE GUYS SHE LET GO FROM THE SHOW.

What the fuck is this shit?!

Can you imagine if you were on a TV show, and millions of people from all walks of life watch you explain and defend your actions to every person you dumped, and maybe even humped? What’s worse is that these guys will get to know each other, and that means that people will like/dislike/hate on/and just be total dick wads to one another.

And they will all be there, with chips on their shoulders, and you have to answer to all of them. And to add insult to injury, you are also in front of a LIVE STUDIO AUIDENCE.

HOLY. FUCKING. SHITNUGGETS.

I get that looking for love is a hard thing – I spent 10 years looking for it, and coming up jerking off to a memory of a scene from an erotic movie that used to air on Cinemax in the late-90’s/early 2000’s, and maybe that 3 seconds of scrambled PPV Porn on cable that got unscrambled and you saw a boob (Don’t give me any guff about that, – we all did that shit. Don’t judge).

Getting back to the point: Looking for love is hard – finding that special someone is no easy task, and it can be so hurtful that you want to give up – and it pisses me off that these people are willing to put their asses out there, for all the world to see and mock, cry and relate to, complain, pester, and in this case explain as to why she choose that guy instead of the other guy.

I myself can’t really complain too much, as reality shows are my guilty pleasure to a fault.  Some still are, because they haven’t strayed too far from a really good concept and design they started out with. But they are overshadowed with all this crazy ass crap that getting all the high ratings for all the wrong reasons.

The major thing that bothers be the most about this show (more so than the concept of this program), is the slut shaming of The Bachelorette. I don’t see anything wrong with a woman having sex at her leisure. There is NOTHING wrong with a woman having sex with different people of her choosing, and if you have a problem with it, that’s on you, not them.

That’s the whole point about a woman being allowed to do whatever she wants, remember? You can go ahead and not like it to your heart’s content, but no matter what, you still have to respect it.

(*cough* *cough* Don’t be a Hypocrite *cough* *cough**cough*)

But no matter what, this show sucks so much ass. I have no fucking idea what the fuck happened to Reality TV Shows, but this just insults everyone all around, and from what I’ve seen, only very few people will stand up and say so, myself included.

All I can say, is that if you REALLY want to watch a bunch of dudes “compete” for ass, there is a porn movie called “The Bachelorette It’s A XXX Spoof” – yes, that is the actual title. It’s mainly the same thing that you see on TV, but with less fluff, and and tons on sex.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to pour bleach into my eyeballs.

Laters.

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