I’m going to share something with all of you. I don’t really care if anyone likes it or not. I’m not on a soapbox, I’m not making any jokes, ranting and raving, or kidding around.
I am a 35 Year old man, and I have a lot of hats to wear in my life.
I’m a brother and a son, A Boyfriend and a lover, A Gamer, Blogger, Podcaster, A friend, and most importantly, a human being.
There are some people who think that it is easy being a man. I should be able to get what I want because I’m a male, in a male-dominated society. I don’t express my feelings, I don’t cry, or care about the little things, and everything I do comes in a nice nifty package – all because I have a dick instead of a pussy.
I can tell you right now: That is utter bullshit.
I am so many things to so many people that I care about, all of them expect so many different things from me, and most of the time, they misinterpret what I’m doing and saying.
I do my best to get things done. To complete my tasks, and reach my goals. There is a ton of things I must do, and trying to keep it all in the balance is difficult as fuck.
There are days where I feel I’m going to lose my fucking mind over all of this. Like I’ll never get ahead on anything, that I’m always coming up short.
Don’t get me wrong: I don’t lack confidence in myself. I know I’ll get where I need and want to be in life, in due time. But there are days when Fate, God, or whatever deity you choose to believe feels like piling it on.
If its not something else that comes up, it’s something that I forgot I needed to do. If its not something that I don’t see coming, its something dumb or stupid that I did way back when to remind me “Yep, you did that dumb shit”.
No matter what I’m doing, or how fast I go…No matter how much I have going on at once, or what I finish first, More stuff just seems to pile on.
No matter what I do, no matter what that thing is, there is always something.
Being me is not easy, for I have many layers. It’s not 100% straightforward, and you can’t sum me up in 140 characters.
It’s not easy being a man…
It’s not easy being me.