An open Letter to @TAYSTEVENS, Part 2

This isn’t the funny blog entry that I’m working on – I’ll post that later. Right now, I need to post an open letter to Taylor Stevens – I can’t say what I want to in 140 Characters. Here goes:


Dear Busty Babe,

I don’t know what it’s like to have Cancer. I don’t know what it’s like to undergo Chemo and Radiation Treatments. I don’t know what it’s like to have your hair fall out.

I DO know what its like to throw up, not have an appetite and be tired all day long – I had food poisoning not too long ago. NOT fun. And it’s not exactly the same.

But thankfully, the one thing I can completely relate with to you, is dealing with assholes.

I know all the angles: They do their best to make you feel like your on the wrong track. They tell you whatever they can to make you feel smaller than a grain of sand. They make you feel that you don’t know nothing, they don’t respect your feelings, they don’t respect your opinions on anything, and that no matter what you are doing, you’ll never succeed at all, because they say so.

And that, pretty woman, is what you have been dealing with for the past year…An Asshole that just won’t quit.

Cancer, no matter what kind you have, is an asshole with a long ass name. Your Cancer has been trying to stop you at every corner: It fucks with you because it wants you to stop. It wants you to quit being who you are. It wants you to stop fighting it. It wants to wipe the smile off your face, and make you feel that it might be right.

“Just stop” – it says. “Let me be right – let me WIN

Well, I what I think you should say to that statement, is the same reply everyone in the world has said to assholes near and far: 


This is what you should be saying right now to cancer. I know, you’ve been saying it for so long now – and that’s the fucking point!

The fact that you have gotten up everyday, is telling Cancer “Fuck you” – every step you take is telling Cancer “Fuck You”. Why stop now?

For serious, you’ve come so far – why feel sad now? What’s the point of feeling sad? You should be feeling proud of what you’ve done in battling cancer.


Earlier today, you tweeted this:

I hate losing people close to me.. the reasons dont matter i just hate losing people i love and care about.

I understand how you feel: Years ago, I lost my Grandfather. My mom always talks highly of him all the time, even to this very day. From the stories I heard about him, he was a great man. I met him only once in my life – I thought he was pretty cool. He worked hard all his life, and raised my Mom well – she too is also a great person. My idol even.

To this day, I miss him so. I regret that I never got to spend more time with him. He was like a father to me. But despite I’m not stopping at all.

You see, my Granddad is with me. He lives on in my mind and in my heart. The Same goes with your father, and all those you’ve lost in your life – they are never truly gone, they walk with you always, in your mind and your heart. The only time you’ll ever truly miss him, is if you forget him – and thankfully I don’t see that happening any time soon.

The Memories you have with all those you’ve ever loved will give you the strength to move forward, so they are never truly gone. They are always with you.

There really is no reason to feel like this:

I’m like a sad walking zombie right now just numb

Remember: “In every life a little rain must surely fall. But there is always a Rainbow just around every corner”

The Holidays are hard as fuck for a lot of people, now more than ever. And I know that this part of the year sucks ass for you. I can’t change that, and believe me, I would if I could.

Thankfully, a lot of people out there want to make your life awesome: Friends (The REAL ones), Family and your fans (myself inculded) – and we all want to do our best to put a big smile on your face.

If I may suggest: I want you to join me in an event I’m putting together. It’s called “Happy #FuckChristmas! Week” The week of that bullshit holiday I used to love, I’m posting all kinds of shit that has nothing to do with Christmas – fun in Summertime, Movies and Videos that aren’t Christmas-themed, songs that we really want to listen to this season, and of course, Hot Women on the beach (you’re on that list too), all while using the Hashtag #FuckChristmas (I think I sense a smile coming on the face, and maybe a little laughter)

I know that pain is with you in many forms right now, but no matter what bullshit comes at you, hold your head up high, stick out your chest with pride, extend your arm, and give it, and the assholes the finger!

^^ See that? That’s how you you should be feeling right now. Never forget that. It also wouldn’t hurt to dress the part too.

Now if you excuse me, I have to work on making you laugh. It’s due on Friday.


Yours truly



PS: The fact that you can drink a Bacardi while sick, is fucking badass.

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