Fuck Yahoo.

**Note: for those of you who use Yahoo  – I don’t hate any of you, just the services they provide – I happen to know some great people and have friends who use Yahoo – This is not a rant for any of them. ONLY Yahoo.com is getting shit on in this post.

To my homies: Please try not to have a shit fit.**

Moving On..

I know that it’s the title of this blog post, but I’ll say it again: Fuck yahoo.

When I first logged on to the internet, there was only one search engine that EVERYONE was talking about and using….Yahoo.com.

In it’s heyday, Yahoo had a lot of things going for itself – an impressive email service, a good IM service and it was a pretty good search engine – now…

It’s a prime piece of shit….I think ?

I mean, it has been over 8 years since I last used Yahoo. I have since then moved on to better services (I ❤ Google).

But, just out of curiosity, I thought I’d head back to yahoo – for old time’s sake. I started a new email account, which was also my yahoo ID, and started seeing what was new….

About 20 minutes later, I was bored, disappointed and cancelled my account. After all these years, Yahoo is still a piece of shit service to sign up to. It’s completely forgotten what the fuck it’s supposed to be – offering all these services and avenues of info and bullshit I’ll most likely NEVER use or find a need for. Yahoo Geocities is gone (Thank goodness), there was this thing called Yahoo Buzz which is no longer in existence, and I’ll say it again – the email service is still shitty – an interface that still loads slowly and doesn’t work about 50% of the time. On the upshot, they are making a beta version of the “New” Yahoo Mail interface, but even that feels more like a Alpha Version than beta – no beta ANYTHING should take no more than 5 minutes to load IMHO.

And sadly, the biggest let down – the search engine. The Flagship of all things Yahoo is now a shadow of it’s former self. Oh, and Yahoo is now called Y!.

What the fuck is that shit ?!

A letter of the alphabet and an exclamation point is your new name now ? Bitch your ass is called Yahoo, NOT “The artist formerly known as Yahoo”! If I see a logo that reflects this sad state of affairs, I’m gonna be pissed –

Yahoo Logo


So this is what it’s come to for yahoo – a web service that has no idea what the fuck it wants to be, loaded with features I have no use for, and services that don’t have  staying power and just get discontinued after a few months? I guess so.

The Question is: “WHY?”

The answer is obvious – To compete with Google. As I’m sure most of you noticed, when Google made its appearance to the internet, people naturally flocked to it, and it was easy to understand why: Better search results, faster response time (Loading results), better details, etc – it was just plain better than Yahoo, and when they (Yahoo) realized that they needed to step their game up, they entered into the email business – free email accounts for all, with at the time a considerable amount of storage space – I forget how much, but to me it was a lot – it was somewhere in the mid-n MB range. Pick a number.

After that, I remember Yahoo Geocities, Groups, and Messenger, all of which were fine, if not cool to run and use for their time… but then, they fell to shit: when new web hosting services came into place offering free and better website creation, Geocites looked like a joke. Advanced features Geocites had came at a cost, whereas those same features were either free or cheaper to buy with other web hosts.

As for Yahoo Groups – well, it’s still around, and I do know some people who use that service, but in order to use it, you need a Yahoo ID, which also serves as your Yahoo Email account, which is a whole other issue Yahoo needs to address. As I stated before, Yahoo’s email service was really good for it’s time, but it had (And still does to a point) two major flaws:

  • Shitty Spam Filters
  • Terrible Loading times

A little back story, if you will:

I had shared my email address with only a chosen few: 2 people, and they we’re family members. I had no newsletters, no other people had my email address – It was only for my chosen few.

Then one day, I decided to give my email address to a Friend of mine…..and then shit got funky. Turns out my friend gave my email to a website that was doing some kind of sweepstakes. I got an email from them, read it,  and then deleted it – I wasn’t interested in that kind of crap.

But it was too late: 24 hours after getting that email, my inbox was flush with 300 emails, all spam.

I’d use the spam filter to blacklist the email domains, and it told me that I wouldn’t see them again – only to see more spam emails pop up in my inbox. Each email I got had a different domain, And spent most of my time filling up my black list with domains that I couldn’t shake off. In the end, my inbox got full EVERY WEEK with 10000 spam Emails. No, I’m not making that up. There we’re few emails from the fams, and the rest were spam. There were also a  couple from my friend who brought this shit storm to my inbox, but they were replied with a simple “Fuck You”.

End of story – no no, end of the Short Story. Keep reading, there is still more.

And as for the email main page loading, it took about 5 minutes, and that doesn’t count how long you have to wait for the list of emails to display on screen -the more emails you had waiting, the longer you had to wait. It took 5 minutes to load Yahoo mail, and an additional 1-2 minutes for every email waiting in my inbox….I’ll let you do the math for just 300 emails. Go ahead I’ll wait….

…Yeah. And yes, You we’re WAY faster than Yahoo Email when you did the math.

This was the major issue with some of Yahoo’s services – at the time they looked good, but always felt unpolished and incomplete – the same with messenger: it too had issues – It would crash nearly every time I used it, and I never found anyone I could chat with in the chat rooms – I’ll tell you right now: Whenever a male user starts a line with “I have a major pain in my…..”, rest assured, it’s time to disconnect.

Cancelling my Yahoo Account……and Done.

“But PlayBoyMan, if you hate yahoo so much, why not just use your ISP-Based Email, instead of google?”

Because I’m NOT A FUCKING MORON, that’s why! I am aware that ISP’s give you your own email account, but who the fuck uses that shit? I’m serious, who uses their ISP-Based email address to register accounts to other websites?! Are you shitting me?!

Sorry, lost my place.

So let’s sum up:

Yahoo Email service still suck ass.

Yahoo Search engine still sucks ass.

Yahoo Messenger has guys who might want to suck MY ass (so not gonna happen, btw – I’m straight as an arrow, but you already know that 😀 )

Yahoo has an assload of features I don’t even need….

It DOES and STILL Fucking sucks….

Fuck Yahoo.

One thought on “Fuck Yahoo.

  1. EssenceLarue says:

    You have spoken for many of us..atleast your not afraid to voice this shit:)

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