PSN Survival Kit


By now, I’m sure that most of you are super pissed about the PlayStation Network (PSN) being down for almost 3 weeks now, and if you’re not – then you have great resolve and patience.

Sadly, there are some of you who are just freaking the fuck out that you can’t play multi-player games and that you might have to watch your credit card bill like a hawk as the PSN got Molested big time.

And then I’m pretty sure there are those of you who are doing all kinds of stupid shit to get your multiplayer fix – I’ll bet you 50 bucks that someone in the world is playing a single-player game in 2-player mode with 2 controllers.

Come on, you know I’m on the money about this.

But…thankfully, I can help you in this time of crisis by helping you assemble a Kit – a PSN Survival Kit!

The kit is 100% easy to assemble, and can contain as many of the items you have available. Here is what the kit should contain and why it’s so important to have:

1. DVD MOVIES – Some of you may not be aware of this, But your PS3 can play DVD and Blu-Ray Movies (Really, I do know some people who don’t know this), so it’s in your best interest to own a collection of some Films. And PLEASE make sure they are awesome movies – if you even own a copy of “The Notebook”, I suggest you brace yourself for that giant foot that’s about to get planted in your ass.

2. Porn MoviesWhat? The blog is Called “Perverted Brain”. It would be wrong if I didn’t mention Porn. The same rules apply with the regular DVD movies – don’t own sucky ones, and yes, they’re are some bad porn movies out there. Thankfully, I don’t know for any, So I’ll give you a “Top 10”  list of the Good ones I’ve watched:

  1. Pirates
  2. Pirates: Stagnetti’s Revenge
  3. Lisa Ann – The Milf Trainer
  4. Who’s Nailin Paylin?
  5. Jesse Jane – Lust
  6. Cheerleaders (Digital Playground)
  7. Teachers (Digital Playground)
  8. Rachel Starr is Bad Ass
  9. Top Guns (Digital Playground)
  10.   Big Boob Car Wash (Shyla Stylez is in this one and has a great sex scene)

Even if you own some or none of these movies, it’s does give you a good baseline on the quality of Porno you should have in your kit, and in general.

3. PS2 Console and Games Yes, If you have a PS2 and games for it, there is a 97% chance you won’t go out of your mind  during the PSN Outage. Now seeing that I have over 100 PS2 Games, it would take a bit to list them all, but like the Top 10 Porn list, I’ll give you a top 10 Games list too:

  1. Half-Life
  2. Metal Gear Solid 3
  3. Metal Gear Solid 2
  4. Grand Thief Auto: San Andreas
  5. Wipeout Fusion
  6. Metal of Honor: Frontline (A MUST HAVE)
  7. God of War
  8. God of War 2
  9. Gran Turismo 4
  10.   Ratchet and Clank: Going Commando
    Now before you move on to get ting this kit started, there are a few more things you are going to need and they are necessary:
    • Tissues
    • Plastic Wrap
    • Water
    • Soda
    • Chips
    • Bottle of Lotion

    The Chips, Soda, and Water are from when you are Watching a Movie or playing the games, and the Plastic Wrap and Bottle of Lotion are for when you are watching the porno flicks. The Tissues are Multi-Purpose, so you can use those as needed. I might explain the Plastic wrap in another blog post, but I think you get the reason for it’s use…Right?

    As long as you assemble this PSN kit, you should be fine until the Service is online again.

    Good luck.

     

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to finish a few projects in my pants…

    Laters

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