Pullin’ out

To the Tune of “If you’re Happy and you know it”….

If you’re cumming and you know it, pull it out. *Clap Clap*

If you’re cumming and you know it, pull it out. *Clap Clap*

If you’re cumming and you know it, and you really wanna show it, if you’re cumming and you know it, pull it out.

*Clap Clap*

^^ Parody. Use it any way you want, just let ‘em know where you got it from, and it’s royalty-free.

Take THAT RIAA ! – bunch of no good bastards taking money from the artists….ahem – sorry about that. Another Topic for another day.


What I’m talking about is based solely on the Controversial “Heartbeat Bill” in Ohio (For the record, I’m AGAINST THIS BILL 200%).

This is the most recent news I could find on this bill:



So far, it looks like this piece of shit has a chance of getting into Ohio Law, which worries me.  It’s caused me to take action – this blog post. I have come up with a excellent work-around for this, one that can be implemented at anytime, no matter if the bill becomes law or not…

It’s called “Pulling Out” 😀

Hmm….Funny, for a second there, I thought I heard a few ladies say something like:


1. If you don’t wanna get knocked up, that’s not gross.

2. Because the guy doesn’t wanna get his female partner knocked up. And..

3. The kind of couple what doesn’t wanna a baby – duh.

I’m serious here. Granted, Condoms are 97% effective, but that 3% margin of fail does bother me, and not all condoms are factory-tested. Plus, some of you don’t use condoms (I’m not gonna bitch about that, I’m just saying) – in which case Pulling out is a good idea.

Now for those of you who have never watched a porno, you might be wondering what Pulling out is.


I’m more than happy to tell you –

“Pulling Out” is when a Man removes his cock from a woman’s Vagina or Anus, takes the condom off, and ejaculates onto a woman’s body. The parts of the body are either the Boobies (Personal Favorite and preference), in the mouth, on the ass, over the feet, or around the vaginal area (thighs, pelvic region).

Now for those of you who have a hard time visualizing this, I recommend that you start watching some porn. Remember to view in moderation.

Now those of you who get where I’m coming from with this, I would like you to do a favor (If possible) – You remember my little parody of mine at the start of this blog post? Good, you’re not that drunk AND you’re not doing a 420 session yet.

I would LOVE it if someone could make that into a song. I don’t care how you do it, just make it happen. Get as creative as you like.

And Ladies, if you live in Ohio, are pro-choice, and really don’t want to have a baby just yet, you might wanna start practicing “pulling out”. And if that doesn’t convince you here’s a good reason why…


It takes 6 weeks for a fetal heartbeat to be detected – so if a woman misses her period, discovers that she is about a week late, how many weeks have passed ?


Just a thought.

One thought on “Pullin’ out

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