My First…(Part 1)

After all the rants and raves I’ve done lately, I think it high time to change it up.

The year was 2006. I had taken interest in the internet, and how I could get connected to it.

Sadly at the time, I had a piece of shit computer: The Compaq Presario CDTV 520. I can’t stress how much I hated that fucker. Even though now I’m using a P3 system at 566MHz w/ 512MB and 80GB HDD, which is still slow for my needs, I STILL hate the Compaq.

OK, I’m getting off track here.

Anyway, I wanted to try out the internet, but I didn’t have much money, and my family wasn’t too interested in it at the time. Thankfully, AOL was big at the time and was offering free trials to their ISP Dialup.

Despite being so slow, my PC DID have a modem, and it more than met the system requirements to run the software. So I went to the local Meijer, got a copy of the disc, and while my fams was sleeping, I installed the software and connected to the internet for the first time.

After 2 minutes, I was connected. 😦

I had no idea where to go or what to do. I even had trouble with URL’s (Keep in mind. I was such a noob back then). But I did remember that yahoo was the top search engine at the time (it was also a search engine too. Get it ?).

So I typed very slowly – I also had piss poor typing skills back in the day too.

So, after thinking what should I type as my first search query, I typed in “Playboy”. The result –


I was so excited to finally see this site – Loading… Loading… Loading… I’m now feeling less excited… Loading… Loading… “The connection Timed out”

What The Fuck ?

After that little fail, followed by a little rant, I decided to search for other stuff: Birds, Hippos, Cheese, Nintendo, herpes (THAT was a scary result, BTW), and of course Oil – I have no idea WHY I typed that search.

It was after Midnight. Its late – time for bed…I was just about to disconnect, when suddenly I remembered WHY I had such a vested interest in the internet: Boobs.

Back to – Query: Boobs.

Results in the fucking millions. I clicked one link, it was OK. Then I clicked another and came across A very beautiful image – It was of a woman – her back was turned to the camera, but you could see she had big breasts. Who was this woman ?

Then in the corner of the image, I saw a text watermark: (c) Maria Swan @

I logged on to, scrolled down a bit, and there she was, Maria Swan. For those of you who don’t know, Maria Swan is more commonly know as Jana Defi.

That’s right – Jana Defi was the first Large-Breasted I saw on the internet. Since that night, I’ve been enthralled with her beautiful body of work.

I had no idea how to bookmark a webpage, so I just wrote down the URL and disconnected from the internet. For the next 25 days, I spent most of my late-nights looking for other busty ladies and as many pics of Jana Defi I could find on the net. I also had no idea how to save an image

so I was just writing down long-ass urls.

After clicking at random, I clicked on a link that went to site, but it wasn’t one that had Jana Defi on it.

She was a blonde, big breasted, and looked very cute. “Who is this ?” I asked ?

I’ll Tell you who this lady was in Part Two. NO no, don’t be all pissed off, It won’t be to long a wait.

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