The Joys of Gastroenteritis

As I’m sure your all wondering, Last week (June 13th) I was admitted into the hospital for 2 days, due to a bad case of Gastroenteritis (aka Stomach Flu, Food Poisoning)


It all started Sunday, June 13th. In the afternoon, I made some tuna fish salad, one of my favorite….um….correction, WAS one of my favorite sandwiches.

After noming on a couple of these sandwiches, I suddenly felt tired, and decided to take a nap….

…when I woke up, all hell broke loose in my stomach. Undecided

It was 7:45pm – I had the chills AND a fever of 104.8. My stomach was gurgling and churning, and I felt like I was spinning in circles when I went to stand. At first, I thought I could just wait it out, that I would feel better after a good dump.

At 8:50p, I dropped a deuce in the crapper — and I felt even worse. It felt like Mike Tyson was making money bitch-slapping my stomach at the speed of light. Holy Hell.

About 10 minutes later, I threw up….HARD. Good news: I didn’t break a blood vessel in my eye like I did last time. Bad News: Mike Tyson upgraded to just kicking my ass.

About 20 minutes later, I felt I was being ripped apart. Fuck This – Time to go to the hospital. Due to my current condition, I couldn’t walk a straight line if I wanted to, and I was moving like an old man with a bum hip.

So I called my Family. They were able to take me to the hospital. After a blood test, they discovered my White-blood cell count was 21000 – I was fighting off something quite nasty. I was pumped with Broad-Spectrum Antibiotics and saline solution… which made me piss like a race horse for two days. After 2 CT Scans w/contrast (which were fun, btw), an ultrasound (which was a little boring), it was determined that I had Gastroenteritis — Something I ate fucked my ass up.

That Fucking Tuna Fish Salad.

After much bed rest, blood drawls (PlayBoyMan HATES needles), a lame-ass TV channel lineup, AND making sure that I could keep down a meal, I was released from the hospital.

I now have to keep rested, watch what I eat, and I have to take a Stomach acid reducer for 30 days.

I missed all my creature comforts – The Internet, my cell phone, twitter, video games….It was like spending eternity without breath.

Then again, Being at the hospital did have it’s advantages – All my nurses we’re cute and very friendly. Granted, they didn’t have much up top, but they had really nice asses.

….I should have brought my camera. *sighs*

Anyway, that is the story as to why I’m AFK. It feels nice to keep you guys in the loop. Big Grin

Time to rest.
Laters Cool

One thought on “The Joys of Gastroenteritis

  1. 3d tetris says:

    “That Fucking Tuna Fish Salad.”LMAO
    always fun to read your blog.

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