It all started Sunday, June 13th. In the afternoon, I made some tuna fish salad, one of my favorite….um….correction, WAS one of my favorite sandwiches.
After noming on a couple of these sandwiches, I suddenly felt tired, and decided to take a nap….
…when I woke up, all hell broke loose in my stomach.
It was 7:45pm – I had the chills AND a fever of 104.8. My stomach was gurgling and churning, and I felt like I was spinning in circles when I went to stand. At first, I thought I could just wait it out, that I would feel better after a good dump.
At 8:50p, I dropped a deuce in the crapper — and I felt even worse. It felt like Mike Tyson was making money bitch-slapping my stomach at the speed of light. Holy Hell.
About 10 minutes later, I threw up….HARD. Good news: I didn’t break a blood vessel in my eye like I did last time. Bad News: Mike Tyson upgraded to just kicking my ass.
About 20 minutes later, I felt I was being ripped apart. Fuck This – Time to go to the hospital. Due to my current condition, I couldn’t walk a straight line if I wanted to, and I was moving like an old man with a bum hip.
So I called my Family. They were able to take me to the hospital. After a blood test, they discovered my White-blood cell count was 21000 – I was fighting off something quite nasty. I was pumped with Broad-Spectrum Antibiotics and saline solution… which made me piss like a race horse for two days. After 2 CT Scans w/contrast (which were fun, btw), an ultrasound (which was a little boring), it was determined that I had Gastroenteritis — Something I ate fucked my ass up.
That Fucking Tuna Fish Salad.
After much bed rest, blood drawls (PlayBoyMan HATES needles), a lame-ass TV channel lineup, AND making sure that I could keep down a meal, I was released from the hospital.
I now have to keep rested, watch what I eat, and I have to take a Stomach acid reducer for 30 days.
I missed all my creature comforts – The Internet, my cell phone, twitter, video games….It was like spending eternity without breath.
Then again, Being at the hospital did have it’s advantages – All my nurses we’re cute and very friendly. Granted, they didn’t have much up top, but they had really nice asses.
….I should have brought my camera. *sighs*
Anyway, that is the story as to why I’m AFK. It feels nice to keep you guys in the loop.
Time to rest.