Earlier this morning, I was on Tweetdeck when I read the following tweets from Adult Film Star Lisa Ann (@thereallisaann):
Ok, strip club Etiquette people.. If u put a tip down for a stripper, don’t take it back when she turns around.. That’s just criminal.. about 2 hours ago via UberTwitter
Just got attacked on stage by some asshole, no bouncers to be found. I had to fight him myself, I threw him off the stage. Calling it a nite 41 minutes ago via UberTwitter
Unfucking believable.. I’m totally freaked out, just glad I am ok, but no happy about the lack of help 40 minutes ago via UberTwitter
I don’t scare easy, but I so fucking scared right now I could cry 39 minutes ago via UberTwitter
I caught him reaching over and stealing all my money, so i stood in front of him to get the money back and get a bouncer, he jumped on stage 37 minutes ago via UberTwitter
I have a roadie, but it is not right for the roadie to handle the clubs responsibilities. The roadie watches me, the club handles the customers 23 minutes ago via UberTwitter
Don’t worry, I threw that guy so hard he flew on his back, on the fucking floor, but why should I have to fight with people! Nuts 13 minutes ago via UberTwitter
Luckily I don’t drink or party on the road, but com ‘on.. Some fucker reaches over and is stealing all my money and I’m not supposed to handle it 8 minutes ago via UberTwitter
As you can see, last night was NOT a good night for Lady Ann. After reading these tweets, I was inspired to write this post. First off, I’d like to express my apologies to Lisa Ann – this incident happened at a strip club in Toledo, Ohio (I LIVE in Ohio, BTW) and most of us here the Buckeye State are NOT assholes.
With that said, I’d like to teach you all (and by all, I’m mainly talking to all the assholes) on Strip Club Etiquette
Let’s start, shall we ?
The good ol’ Strip Club. Nice way to end a long day – couple of drinks and watching beautiful women dancing around for money, and for your pleasure. It’s all good 🙂
BUT….there are some things that you should never do at a strip club:
1. DO NOT FUCK with the Dancers tips !
Tipping a dancer any amount of money just so she can get more naked or dance more provocatively for you, is a transaction. There are No refunds – she can’t undo what she just did, that’s fucking impossible, so you don’t get your money back. Also, Dancers are NOT Cash Machines – you can’t ask for change for any amount. “Can I get change for a 20 ?” The answer is always “No”. And most importantly, DO NOT TAKE THE TIPS! She works hard for that money, leave it alone, or you will answer either to her, or the bouncers (or whichever one wants to kick your ass more).
2. Look but don’t touch !
Don’t get me wrong, I like many men have fantasized what a woman would feel like – “how soft are her breasts?”, “how warm are her thighs ?”, “Would she talk dirty to me during sex?” – sorry, my mind wandered.
Such are the thoughts of guys at a strip club, more so because the object of there desire is right in front of them. But no matter how close she gets to you, no matter how she moves or gyrates, DO NOT TOUCH THE DANCERS ! Just because you tip her or pay for a lap dance or join her in the Champagne Room DOES NOT give you the right to touch her. PERIOD.
You are there to watch her tease, titillate and dance for you. that’s it. The second you cop a feel, your ass is in deep shit. DEEP. KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF. That also includes hopping up on stage to trying and grab them, and pulling them away from the stage or anywhere in the club for that matter. Which brings us to rule 3:
3. STAY OFF THE STAGE !
The stage is for the dancers – no one wants to see a grown man acting a complete fool on the stage, or completely ignore rules 1 and 2. And finally…
4. Be a Gentleman
Strip Clubs are often called “Gentleman’s clubs”. And no matter what you call them, THIS is a rule you should follow at all times – Be A Gentleman. ANY woman can and does like a man who respects her, no matter what she does for a living. Hell, that’s a life lesson right there. And don’t be fake or phone it in either. Be Genuine.
And if you don’t think that rule 4 works – one name: Hugh Hefner.
Follow these rules guys, and you will have a good time not just at the Clubs, but anywhere women are having fun.
Thanks to Lisa Ann (@thereallisaann) for letting me use her tweets in this post.