Last Saturday (1/21), I got quite the stern talking to over some tweets I made on a certain subject. It was pretty harsh, and it resulted in my apologizing to this individual, and deleting the tweets in question.

Out of genuine respect for all involved, I will not tell you what the topic was about, Nor will I tell you who it was I pissed off.

It doesn’t really matter anymore, and this blog post isn’t about that at all. This isn’t a bash, nor is it an attack on anyone – this is just a simple reminder of what you’re getting into when you follow me on Twitter.

If you read my short Bio, the first thing you’ll see is that I’m for adults, and that I’m NSFW.

NSFW means the content of my tweets are not for those who think like you or share your common interests, or they DO share them, but they aren’t so open about them like you are. Examples are people like your boss, your Mom and Dad or a priest.

The things I tweet about are as follows:

1. Boobies
2. Women with big boobies
3. Political Views (I’m a Progressive, Liberal Democrat, btw)
4. Morons and the crap they do
5. Things I read and see (I read a LOT and have seen many things)
6. Funny shit
7. Personal things about myself
8. Tips and ideas for men and women
9. Porn
10. To People I like and follow

Now, in that list of things I tweet, most will come to enjoy and RT my tweets – however, there is an off-chance that I might tweet something that you may not like or agree with. And on that moment, you might want to weigh-in, ask a question, or possibly rant.

Either way, no matter what your response, I will respect it and accept it. I may even reply. But no matter how you react, I want you to remember two things: 1. I’ll let you have your say, and 2. Let me have mine.

I take this seriously, because where I live, I’m surrounded my Morons, Bullshitters, Shitkickers, Crazy whores (No, I’m NOT joking on that), and people who love to pee in public (and NO they aren’t homeless), who would be more than happy to tell me to shut the fuck up and get the fuck out, then give me a chance to explain why I said what I said. I’ve been chewed out before. It’s not uncommon for me – it comes with being who I am and what I stand for.

In that quagmire of crap, however, are a certain few people who I can talk to briefly, mainly because they have jobs to get to and lives to live. And even if I can talk to them, there will still be a few I have to censor myself to, because they don’t completely get my style.

And those I can’t talk to are very one-sided on a TON of topics, and are more than happy to tell me I’m either Wrong, stupid, or I just don’t know what I’m talking about, no matter how much I’ve learned or studied about it. I’ve NEVER seen or viewed the world as having one side, for I know that they is ALWAYS more than one side to everything in this world: Stories, events, people,etc.

There is always two sides to everything – I’ve never stopped believing that, and I’m not about to start now. That’s the reason I joined Twitter in the first place – to speak my mind freely, and be open. I know and understand that I can’t escape Criticism, rants and raves and negativity – and I don’t intend to. You’re gonna get some sour to go with the sweet, that is just how life is for everyone, and I get that no social platform can escape that.

All I want is to have my say.

Lastly, if I ever do say something you don’t like, or if you can’t hang with my vibe anymore, you are more than welcome to click that little button marked “Unfollow”. I won’t get mad or pissy if you do, that’s not my style  – but I will be sad to see you go. I follow a lot of amazing people in the Twitterverse.

And if you ever leave and later decide to come back and follow me, your more than welcome to do so. I’ll be here. Now if you’ll excuse me, I must go and deal with my personal issues. They still need my attention.

Thank you for reading this. Onward we move…Laters

And no, I did not lie to, with, or on her. Let me explain…

In early October 2011, I tweeted about my lower back. I had said that I had injured my back while trying out Yoga.

That, my peeps, was a lie. A stupid, and as I later found out, somewhat common lie.

I will now tell you what really happened.

Picture it: October 2011 – I forget the actual day, but it was in the afternoon, 1-2pm

Location: My Basement

I was on my Computer, sorting all my files, and had just started sorting out the pictures. I was making good progress sorting them by boob size, Image Size, Quality and in alphabetical order (Yes, I am quite meticulous when it comes to my files, and it’s easier to catalog them this way).

After about 20 minutes, yes, 20 minutes – I finally came to the last folder, proudly labeled “Taylor Stevens”; The Cornerstone of my collection my sexy pics. ^_^

As I was sorting them out, I came across this one picture of the busty vixen that sent my mind and my heart racing:

I don’t know what it is about her – but seeing her in red of Pink just turns me on…Time to break out the tissues and lotion.

So there I was, in the basement, rubbing one out to this picture of the busty bombshell. I was getting closing to busting a nut when I noticed a mild twanging feeling in my lower back – it was somewhat annoying, but I didn’t think much of it.

And then…Just as I’m about to climax…

That mild twanging feeling, turns into a sharp, stabbing pain that I can feel run down my left buttock and all down the length of my left leg. The pain was so sudden it sent me reeling back into my chair, causing it to tip backwards to the floor! YIKES!

Split-second thinking caused me to lurch forward and grab the seat of the chair, thus avoiding cracking my head open on the hard concrete floor, but at the cost of having more pain shoot thru me.

I was thankful to have avoided a head injury, but I was both amazed and embarrassed as to what I noticed next.

As I tried to move around with my bad back, I’d noticed that my right hand was wet – I came. Despite having severe back pain, it wasn’t enough to stop me from cumming, which was all over my workstation. I Didn’t even notice I had Come.

The Monitor, Keyboard and mouse got peppered with jizz. Thank goodness for spare parts.

So, there I was: couldn’t walk right due to the bad back, Popped 2 Pain relievers, and did my best to clean up my man gravy.

After cleaning up, I spent the next two weeks lying on my back.

I tweeted about my injury, and kept the details to myself, and Taylor Stevens. Yes, I sent her a DM about it, and by chance, a week after that she actually tweeted that same pic.

Good and Naughty minds really DO think alike.

“Um PlayBoyMan, why are you telling us this?”

Because now when I look back on it, it’s fucking funny as hell. I’m lol’ing over it now, and I want you to lol with me.

Laters.

Dear Busty Babe,

I don’t know what it’s like to have Cancer. I don’t know what it’s like to undergo Chemo and Radiation Treatments. I don’t know what it’s like to have your hair fall out.

I DO know what its like to throw up, not have an appetite and be tired all day long – I had food poisoning not too long ago. NOT fun. And it’s not exactly the same.

But thankfully, the one thing I can completely relate with to you, is dealing with assholes.

I know all the angles: They do their best to make you feel like your on the wrong track. They tell you whatever they can to make you feel smaller than a grain of sand. They make you feel that you don’t know nothing, they don’t respect your feelings, they don’t respect your opinions on anything, and that no matter what you are doing, you’ll never succeed at all, because they say so.

And that, pretty woman, is what you have been dealing with for the past year…An Asshole that just won’t quit.

Cancer, no matter what kind you have, is an asshole with a long ass name. Your Cancer has been trying to stop you at every corner: It fucks with you because it wants you to stop. It wants you to quit being who you are. It wants you to stop fighting it. It wants to wipe the smile off your face, and make you feel that it might be right.

“Just stop” – it says. “Let me be right – let me WIN”

Well, I what I think you should say to that statement, is the same reply everyone in the world has said to assholes near and far: 

“FUCK. YOU.”

This is what you should be saying right now to cancer. I know, you’ve been saying it for so long now – and that’s the fucking point!

The fact that you have gotten up everyday, is telling Cancer “Fuck you” – every step you take is telling Cancer “Fuck You”. Why stop now?

For serious, you’ve come so far – why feel sad now? What’s the point of feeling sad? You should be feeling proud of what you’ve done in battling cancer.

Earlier today, you tweeted this:

I hate losing people close to me.. the reasons dont matter i just hate losing people i love and care about.

I understand how you feel: Years ago, I lost my Grandfather. My mom always talks highly of him all the time, even to this very day. From the stories I heard about him, he was a great man. I met him only once in my life – I thought he was pretty cool. He worked hard all his life, and raised my Mom well – she too is also a great person. My idol even.

To this day, I miss him so. I regret that I never got to spend more time with him. He was like a father to me. But despite I’m not stopping at all.

You see, my Granddad is with me. He lives on in my mind and in my heart. The Same goes with your father, and all those you’ve lost in your life – they are never truly gone, they walk with you always, in your mind and your heart. The only time you’ll ever truly miss him, is if you forget him – and thankfully I don’t see that happening any time soon.

The Memories you have with all those you’ve ever loved will give you the strength to move forward, so they are never truly gone. They are always with you.

There really is no reason to feel like this:

I’m like a sad walking zombie right now just numb

Remember: “In every life a little rain must surely fall. But there is always a Rainbow just around every corner”

The Holidays are hard as fuck for a lot of people, now more than ever. And I know that this part of the year sucks ass for you. I can’t change that, and believe me, I would if I could.

Thankfully, a lot of people out there want to make your life awesome: Friends (The REAL ones), Family and your fans (myself inculded) – and we all want to do our best to put a big smile on your face.

If I may suggest: I want you to join me in an event I’m putting together. It’s called “Happy #FuckChristmas! Week” The week of that bullshit holiday I used to love, I’m posting all kinds of shit that has nothing to do with Christmas – fun in Summertime, Movies and Videos that aren’t Christmas-themed, songs that we really want to listen to this season, and of course, Hot Women on the beach (you’re on that list too), all while using the Hashtag #FuckChristmas (I think I sense a smile coming on the face, and maybe a little laughter)

I know that pain is with you in many forms right now, but no matter what bullshit comes at you, hold your head up high, stick out your chest with pride, extend your arm, and give it, and the assholes the finger!

^^ See that? That’s how you you should be feeling right now. Never forget that. It also wouldn’t hurt to dress the part too.

Now if you excuse me, I have to work on making you laugh. It’s due on Friday.

Yours truly

–PlayBoyMan

PS: The fact that you can drink a Bacardi while sick, is fucking badass.

The Time: 9:45pm

My Dinner: Pasta

It was a semi-cold night. I was listening to a guy in glasses talk about Some guy running for President… and I think was having some kind of Stroke, or might be drunk. Afterwards, he started smoking right in front of me what a dick

Anyway, when he was finished, I was in a dark room with the blinds drawn shut. A Dark Figure. He wore glasses, and slowly grinned at me. My heart skipped a beat, I shuddered – I was freaking the fuck out..

..and then, I felt my ass being grabbed. Was it a woman? I wish it was: it was this dude in the dark – And him name is Herman Cain!

OK OK…That really didn’t happen. I was poking fun at the Campaign Ad Mr. Cain posted on his Youtube account. Have a look:

It’s a stupid ad, isn’t it? Did you feel like you were violated at the end? For serious, WHY would anyone take 8 seconds to fully smile?! It’s fucking creepy as fuck!

For those of you who may have seen Cain before, he was the CEO of “Grandfather’s Pizza” from 1986-1996 – Sidenote: To this day, their pizza sucks ass berries. Gross.

He was also Deputy Chairman of the Federal Reserve Bank of Kansas City from 1992–1994 and became Chairman from 1995-1996

I bring this up these little nuggets of info, because for some strange reason, he appears to be super stupid. I’m talking if a Moron had sex with a Drunken Woman who has a LOT of air in her head and had a baby, Herman Cain is the kid in the family.

Oh, you doubt me? Take a look at this clip of Herman Cain, trying way too hard not to say three little words:

The three word are: I. Don’t. Know. He doesn’t know shit one about Libya. How hard is it for a politician to say he doesn’t know something, and he’s gonna find out and get back to us?

This ball of crazy is trying to downplay that he doesn’t know much about Libya, and he’s failing poorly doing so.

Come on man, just admit it.

Speaking of Admitting things, How about coming clean about those women you felt up, allegedly?

You’ve worked hard most of your adult life – sometimes you need a bit of relief, and you went about the wrong way of doing so. Bill Clinton did it – he was a US President for 8 years. He was under a lot of pressure and tension, and his relief was having a little play time with a white house intern, who loved to wear thong underwear.

If Herman Cain wants to be president, he has to come clean about his indiscretions – brushing them off doesn’t put him in a strong light at all, in my honest opinion.

And believe it or not, Mr. Cain is proving me right:

Did you click that? Did you HEAR that?! A 13 Year love affair ?! “The Black Clinton”, anyone?

(Before you get all pissed off, I’m black, so it’s not in bad taste to say that)

Another issue that is bothering me about this guy: his “999 Plan”. Really? You know the 999 Plan only works in three places:

1. SimCity:

2. Adult phone/online sex chat services

um…OK, and 3. Pizza Specials:

(hehe – don’t tell me that you didn’t see that last pic coming. ^_^ )

Last I checked, I live in the United States of America, not the United States of Pizza. It won’t fucking work! Ok, It might work with the Pizza Slut ladies, but that’s about it.

To sum up:

Herman Cain really is not presidential material, not one bit. He should just stop this madness, and focus on being an average guy who has problems just like the rest of us. Bowing out of the race is also something he should actually do.

We are supposed to elect politicians who KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT – being a Politician is not about bending over for anyone and taking it up the ass all the way to the base of the dick – it’s also not a career; You are there for as long as the voters say you should be there. The US Government is there to protect the Freedoms of its people and country, to call the shots and things we civilians don’t need to deal with, and do what needs to be done to keep things running smoothly WITHOUT stomping all over the  constitution, having internal pissing matches with each other, and leaving the us shit out of luck.

For serious: what the hell are we doing here?

I’m gonna leave it at the for the time being. People, stop voting for conservatives, they don’t know what the fuck they are talking/doing/thinking about.

UPDATE: Herman Cain Announced that he is “Suspending” his Presidential Campaign – or to Paraphrase: “I got caught in my shit. I can’t take it, and I’m quitting this shit.”

YAY!!!!

I thank you for reading this entry. As a reward for doing so, I present a picture of the insanely hot and amazing Taylor Stevens – You’ve more than earned it:

Laters…wait, why say anything here? There is no fucking way you are reading this line at all.

This is about some minor changes I’ll be making to my WordPress and Tumblr blogs, and some projects I’ve begun.

First off, I need to make some minor changes to the Hall of Babes section on this blog, so for the time being, It’ll be unavailable for a few days. I’m not getting rid of it, I just need to make some adjustments to it.

Second, I’ve added a CC License to my blog. My Blog posts are under this license now. Enjoy.

Third, I’ve started a paper over at paper.li ! This one I was very happy about – I didn’t think It would turn out so great. The Content for the paper is comprised of 8 users and 2 hashtags:

Here is the list:

1. @PlayBoyMan – Duh, It is my paper
2. @TAYSTEVENS
3. xBIZ
4. @Cracked
5. @Xcritic
6. @HuffingtonPost
7. @TMZ
8. @TheFeed
9. #FF
10. #TittyTuesday

This list might change in the future, but for right now it works. The Paper will be Published Daily at 12pm EST (GMT –05:00), and it’s called “Le papier de PlayBoyMan” – that’s French for “The Paper of PlayBoyMan” – Thank you Google Translate.

And lastly, I’ll be changing and possibly renaming my Tumblr Blog. Not sure how to change it just yet, but it will be changed nonetheless.

I hope you enjoy the changes I’m gonna make soon, and I hope you enjoy the Paper I’ve started.

I’m looking forward to any and all suggestions you might have. Feel free to state your suggestions to PervertedBrainBlog@gmail.com

Laters.

• “It’ll destroy your moral compass”
• “It gets you fired from work”
• “It ruined my life !”
• “It makes you an addict”
• “It Exploits Women“

But the one myth that REALLY sticks out is: It ruins marriages

Say it with me:

“Bullshit!”

None, I repeat NONE of the crap on that list above is the reason anything falls apart. Let’s chop this list into a million pieces, shall we?

–“It’ll destroy your moral compass”

Oh, really? What else will it destroy? My Nose? My Dick? Will I grow hair on my hands and my eyeballs melt out of their sockets?

Bitch Please.

You – the person who is reading this, is responsible for your own Moral Compass. When you were a kid, your parents were responsible for it’s development. Now that you are all grown up, it’s yours to do with as you please. If you point your Compass in the wrong direction, and shit gets funky because of it, Its your own damn fault. Porn is NOT to blame.

–“It gets you fired from work”

Ah, so it’s the one that’s been stealing toner, and taking all those Post-It notes. And wasting time talking it up at the Water Cooler?

No, methinks not.

In a recent survey, 3% of the American Workforce watches porn clips, movies and Images while at work. Now I’ll admit: I am quite the watcher of Adult Films, but I also feel there is a time and place for everything. I really don’t think watching porn while working is a wise idea – unless you are working in the adult entertainment industry, in which case would be just fine.

Think about it: what if you were handling heavy machinery at work – and no, I don’t mean yours or someone else’s dick – I’m talking about A saw, or a crane, a Automobile, or just something impossibly sharp as fuck. Just like before, it was your idea to watch smut while you work: if you become a work hazard or lost a limb or two, or if someone else either loses a limb, or even death, It’s all your fault. “Big wet butts 2” had nothing to do with that at all.

–“Porn ruined my life”

How exactly is your life ruined? What happened? What did you do before and after you watched your awesome porno flick?

Does any of those questions matter? Um… fuck yes!

I’ve found that people who say that, that, and the other “Ruined their lives” – it’s just a shitload of drama that on one really wants to hear and/or deal with. It also sounds lazy – you make your life into whatever you want it to be. your life is yours to do with as you please. If you fuck that up, your to blame for it.

Cut the dramatics, and get your crap together.

–“It makes you an addict”

Oh here we go – for some weird ass reason, Porn somehow has an addictive quality to it. It’s become kind of “Digital Cocaine” – once you’ve had a hit, you’re hooked on it, and will do anything to get a fix.

A quick definition on Addiction, as stated in the Wikipedia:

Historically, addiction has been defined as physical and psychological dependence on psychoactive substances (for example alcohol, tobacco, heroin and other drugs) which cross the blood-brain barrier once ingested, temporarily altering the chemical milieu of the brain.

Addiction can also be viewed as a continued involvement with a substance or activity despite the negative consequences associated with it. Pleasure and enjoyment would have originally been sought; however, over a period of time involvement with the substance or activity is needed to feel normal. Some psychology professionals and many laypeople now mean ‘addiction’ to include abnormal psychological dependency on such things as gambling, food, sex, pornography, computers, internet, work, exercise, idolizing, watching TV or certain types of non-pornographic videos, spiritual obsession, self-injury and shopping.

The American Society of Addiction Medicine begins their definition of addiction by describing it as “a primary, chronic disease of brain reward, motivation, memory and related circuitry.”

As you just read, it’s possible to become addicted to several different things…but, did you see the part where the thing you’re addicted to is making you an addict?

Read it again if you must. You won’t see it and I can’t highlight it – because it’s not there. Nothing in this world makes you an addict but you. You have a problem, and its causing you pain, and instead of dealing with it head on, or getting help dealing with it, you focus on something to take the pain away, thus, the addiction begins.

Dude…

Now I’m not making light about this – I don’t see myself an addict to anything, but I’m sure that being addicted to something must be hell, and dealing with it must be a real pain, but to blame the object of your addiction as to why things go wrong is just a waste of time and effort, and it just makes dealing with it that much harder and longer to do.

Porn doesn’t make you an addict – you do. You sought relief, you got it, and you can’t give it up, and its up to you to kick the habit.

–“It Exploits Women”

Look it, Women are NOT exploited in the adult entertainment industry. It’s not destroying women in the industry, and it’s NOT ruining women’s lives.

Look at it this way: If you take away the cameras, lights, story line and makeup, what do you have?

People having sex. Millions of Grown men and women are having sex without the use of cameras, and I’m pretty sure that most them are thoroughly enjoying themselves.

I think the reason why some people, especially women think that porn is exploitive to women is because of confusion between the Adult Entertainment industry, and the practice of Forced Prostitution.

Here is the Wikipedia version of Forced prostitution:

Forced prostitution, also known as involuntary prostitution, is the act of performing sexual activity in exchange for money on a non-voluntary basis. There are a wide range of entry routes into prostitution, ranging from “voluntary and deliberate” entry, “semi-voluntary” based on pressure of circumstances, and “involuntary” recruitment via outright force or coercion. Sexual slavery encompasses most, if not all, forms of forced prostitution. The terms “forced prostitution” or “enforced prostitution” appear in international and humanitarian conventions but have been insufficiently understood and inconsistently applied. “Forced prostitution” refers to conditions of control over a person who is coerced by another to engage in sexual activity.

You’ll notice that nowhere in that quote is the Adult Entertainment industry mentioned. You can even check out the entry itself on Wikipedia:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forced_prostitution

To be clear, female performers DO get paid for their work, and live pretty good lives. They are not enslaved, beaten or mistreated in anyway shape or from, and they enjoy what they do.

If their lives take a turn for the worse (which I hope doesn’t happen), you can’t blame porn for it.

And now I come to the last item on the list:

–“It ruins marriages”

It bothers me that men and women who are either married or in a relationship split up and say that reason why is “Because of porn”.

Their marriages and because of issues with each other, not porn movies.

I did have a closing for this, but I came across a series of tweets by Adult Film star Nina Mercedez a few weeks ago, and her take on marriage and porn hit the mark perfectly. It was a rant about how porn really isn’t to blame for failed relationships, and that porn can even help spice things up.

With her permission, I took her tweets and put them together into one complete paragraph. They are not edited in any way shape or form:

This lady on the news here in FL is complaining that “Porn” ruined her marriage umm no you ruined your marriage by not being ur husbands Fantasy because you said no to something he wanted in bed, or maybe you aren’t looking the way you did when u 2 got married, Porn doesn’t Ruin your marriage you do. Be open to ur partners requests and if your partner watches porn watch it with them. The couple that plays Together stays together! It’s your job to keep your man interested in you. Men same advice goes to you!

And to put the Cherry on top, Nina Mercedez is happily married and still in the business of Porn.

‘Nuff Said.

Laters

I’m not being nuts, and I’m Not talking about her husband Raymond Balboa at all. He loves Nina with all his heart, and I’m 100% happy for the both of them. They make a great couple. Hell, Not long ago, he got her a pair of shoes. Have a look:

And, no – he didn’t fuck up or nothing. He did it because he wanted to. She’s got a good man…and those are really good looking shoes.

What this is about does involve Nina, but mainly one of her movies that I used to have a long time ago. Sit down for a bit – hear my story, and you’ll understand the title of this post:

Picture it: The Date is August 23rd, 2003 – I was still learning about adult film stars and the studios they worked with. I had heard about this new movie that came out by Vivid, called “So I Married a Pornstar”. It got rave reviews, and when I saw the cover, I was sold on getting it:

There she was. The star of this great film. Beautiful, Sexy, Wild. I was enchanted. Went to the Adult store about a mile down from where I lived, dropped the cash, got the DVD.

Popped it in the second I got home…It was amazing. Just 15 minutes in and I knew I spent my money well. Nina was great in every scene she did. The Storyline was good, and funny too.

It was, and still is a great film. I was glad to have it in my collection…But I was also stupid to do what I did next…

You see, there was a guy who liked to borrow my stuff. Video games, Eggs, a pair of pliers, that kind of thing. I lent him these things because he always returned or repaid me for what he borrowed. His name is “Steve” – a 190 pound asshole who has a 140 pound super tight-assed Girlfriend named “Karen”.

Why did I give them these names? Because I Don’t feel their real names are worthy of being posted in my blog – THAT’S how much they sucked ass.

You see, even though “Steve” barrowed things from me, he was a total Dumbass. On top of that, his girlfriend never liked me. Why? I don’t know. Every time she saw me she was always cutting eyes at me like I did her wrong. What the fuck?

What made Steve a Dumbass was the fact that he listened to the “Wisdom” of his GF, who always made sure to make any dealings I had with “Steve” go as slow and painful as possible.

Sometimes, whenever I’d let “Steve” borrow my things, I would get them back – a few weeks later. He would tell me that he wanted to give be my items back sooner, but “Karen” insists he keep them just a little bit longer; 1-2 days longer.

Then there were times I had to deal with her – yeah, that was fun. I can tell you right now: NO one in the world enjoys being told “No” every 30 seconds for no valid reason.. That shit gets old quickly.

Anyway, seeing that dealing with her was out of the question, I suggested to “Steve” that from now on, we wouldn’t be telling her shit about what he wanted or needed to borrow from me. He readily agreed.

For awhile, it went smoothly: He’d call and ask for something he needed of mine, and I would bring it over when little miss thing wasn’t home. It was a good deal at the time, or so I thought.

Then one day, he asked me about this movie he heard was getting quite a buzz…An adult movie. See where this is going?

He asked if I had heard of “So I married a Porn Star”. I then did 2 things I NEVER should’ve done:

1. I Said “Yes I’ve heard of it”

2. I Said “Sure, you can borrow it”

I Didn’t hesitate. I Didn’t become cautious. I Didn’t even think it through. Just grabbed it and gave it to him.

We both agreed that I would get it back in a few days. A Few days passed, and I went to pick up my DVD.

Guess who answered the door? Hint: It wasn’t “Steve”. “Karen” was very calm and cordial when she answered the door. For a split second, I wondered why, then I found out.

She Said, with a smile: “So…You gave my Boyfriend a porno to watch, huh ?”

I wanted to Kick “Steve’s” stupid ass right then and there.

“Karen explained that “Steve” wanted to watch a Porno with her. Thing was, “Karen” Doesn’t like porn at all (No fucking surprise there). She hated it with a passion. To add insult to injury, “Steve” surprised her with the damn thing. As I would find out later from him, “Steve” wanted to spice up their sex life, and felt my DVD would do the trick.

He popped it into the DVD Player when she wasn’t looking, and when she got into the living room and pushed play, she hit the fucking roof. And I thought I was the Fucking Moron in this story.

Fucking Dumbass.

Back to the moment at hand: I didn’t get chewed out in public, nor did she yell at me. All she said, and I’m not paraphrasing in any way was:

“Well, I have an even bigger reason not to like you, don’t I?”. And said it with a smug little grin on her face, like I was a Criminal who just got caught in the act.

I wanted to ask why she hated me in the first place, but I felt she was trying to goad me into an argument. Already walked into a shitload of crap now, I’m not gonna fall for that.

Keeping my cool, I simply asked for my DVD back. “No”, She said. “You gave it to ‘Steve’, so he’ll be the one to give it back to you.”

I wasn’t cool with this at all. I wanted to give her quite a tongue lashing, but sensing that  that she still might be trying to get me to argue with her, I kept my attitude in check.

“Fine”, I said. “I’ll come back later”

I waited till “Karen” left and“Steve” came home. Went over like I was responding to a booty call. I wish it was a booty call I was responding to. “Steve” answered the door looking pissed off at me. “Well thanks for getting me into trouble!”, He said.

PBM:“What the fuck are you talking about?!”

“Steve”: “She hates porn! She got so mad, it pissed me off and I broke the DVD!”

PBM: “I gave that to YOU for YOU to enjoy. I didn’t tell you to give or show or watch it with your Girlfriend!”

(I was so wound up, I missed the part where he said the DVD got destroyed. I’ll catch on in a bit.)

“Steve”: “It’s still your fault. You shouldn’t have given the DVD to me.”

PBM: “Your fucking right – I should’ve kept it to myself that I even got the damn thing…wait…did you say you broke it?! (See, I caught on. )

“Steve”: “Yes I did!”

“Steve” went back inside, and gave me what was left of the movie. The DVD was in pieces, and the Cover was just torn the fuck up. It looked like a dog mauled it. Also, I couldn’t understand why or how it was legal for “Steve” to date a Dog (Get it?).

PBM: “You destroyed it?! What the fuck is wrong with you?! You’re buying me a new one!”

“Steve”: “I don’t owe you shit!”

PBM: “You Fucking asshole!”

“Steve”: “Fuck you!”

And he slammed the door in my face. I went home, clutching my broken DVD in my hands. I took one last look at it – She broke it up good. “He destroyed my Nina Mercedez”, I said to myself (Hence the title of this post). I tossed it into the garbage.

About a month later, they moved out of the neighborhood. I never spoke to “Steve” or his shitty ass girlfriend after that day, nor do I wish to ever see them again in my life. Could care less about either one of them.

Fuck You, “Steve” and “Karen” – Fuck you in the neck.

The lesson to learn from this?

Never loan your porn out to people who are fucking morons, and/or have shitty ass Girlfriends who like to start drama.

I was gonna end this blog on that note, but instead, I’m gonna end it on an high note, with an option of an update.

I started this writing this blog entry on the 13th of October, thinking that I would never find a physical copy of the film. Sidenote: you can find it streaming online at Vivid.com, Membership required.

Well, about an hour after I started typing, I decided to look for this movie one more time, and low and behold, I found and brought it. CDuniverse.com is selling the DVD NEW for $27.09 + Shipping.

You can, and should get it here: http://www.cduniverse.com/productinfo.asp?pid=6137805

I don’t care if its selling for less somewhere else, I don’t care if someone thinks I paid too much: This is a great movie, I’m glad I found it. It was worth every penny then, and it was worth every penny now.

And if you want to borrow it, you can…After you pry it from my cold dead hands.

UPDATE: The Purchase at cduniverse.com was a no go, as my order was put on backorder and then refunded.

I then tried to buy it from a dude on eBay – a month later, no DVD and I’m out 23.99.  Mother. Fucker.

No worries though: After dealing with eBay’s “Quick and speedy” Customer Service, I got my money back a month later.  Fuck.

With the fear of never getting my hands on this gen of a DVD, I went to AdultDVDMarketplace, which had a NEW copy for just under 12 bucks.

2 Weeks later, Nothing.

I make an inquiry: Turns out the Packaging label was damaged and it couldn’t be delivered to me, so it was returned to sender. He offered to re-mail it back to me at no extra charge. I accepted.

Finally, Today (Dec. 29, 2011), The Item I’ve sought after for so long now, is safe in my hands:

Never gonna give you up.....

It has been a good day.

Laters.

Everything seemed fine for a bit, until I got a DM from one of my followers (Won’t say who, btw), telling me that the link installed Yahoo Toolbar on their machine.

Not. Fucking. Cool.

I tweet like a mofo, and I check all my links to make sure that they are perfect and sound so you don’t have to worry about getting anything you don’t need on your PC – Viruses, Malware, Toolbars of any kind, Spam and Shit on Canvas.

One link of this kind is too many in my book, and there is NO strike two on this issue.

Therefore, as of 3am EDT today, I gave Formspring.me the door out of my digital life.  I thought it was hip, but not anymore. It’s also enjoying that nice cup of “Get The Fuck Out” too.

And just so we are 100% clear, I’m still gonna be on Twitter, Facebook, My WordPress Blog Perverted Brain, Twitpic, Yfrog, Sexypeek, and my tumblr blog (you can ask me questions there).

Thank you everyone for understanding this. I pride myself on giving you all the awesomeness that is PlayBoyMan. I don’t give or accept any less, and neither should any of you.

To everyone who had any issues with the formspring.me accounts – I am sorry. Never meant or expected that to happen one bit. Hope we’re still cool.

Laters.

What THE fuck is your deal? I have listened to all the shit that has come out of your ass for the longest time, and I can’t stand it anymore.

Just because people don’t like you or your mom does NOT make them gay. Also, using homophobic slurs at all is a MILLION TIMES WRONG. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Oh, here’s something I want to mention: “Stealing” and “Losing” your virginity is NOT the same thing. You state that Levi “Stole your Virginity”, but he really didn’t, it just “Felt like that” – You are basically saying (and I’m paraphrasing btw): “Levi raped me, but it wasn’t a rape” – It makes no fucking sense at all. Here’s how I think it went down: you and Levi got a little drunk and decided to have sex. It was consensual, I’m pretty sure you both enjoyed it, AND didn’t use a condom. Tsk, Tsk, Tsk.

Thought that was too much? Brace yourself, I’m not done yet:

Read this part very carefully – Your Mom is NOT smart. She is not the sharpest Knife in the drawer. The light bulb over her head is so dim, we can’t tell if it’s on or busted. She is all looks and little brains. Speaking of Looks (oh yes, I’m going there)….

You MUST accept the fact that your mom is H-O-T. I’m talking Porn Star hot. They made those “Who’s Nailin’ Paylin” Movies for a fucking reason. I’m pretty sure that a vast majority of men in the world are thinking of doing all kinds of naughty things to her, and there is nothing gay about that at all.

I may not agree with her views and opinions, but I could make her damn proud to be a Democrat for a day. No Bullshit about that.

And since we are talking about sex, let’s cut the shit and get real here: You have to admit the “Abstinence Only” Programs don’t fucking work at all. The ONLY thing you learn in those programs is “Wait, Wait, Wait”, and “Premarital Sex is dirty and wrong” – you learn NOTHING about STD’S, HIV/AIDS, BIRTH CONTROL, PRACTICING SAFE SEX, PREGANACY AND CONDOMS. And you will need to learn about this sooner than later.

You can drop the act and admit that learning about all this the hard way is not recommended.

Finally, I understand that you and Levi have your issues with each other, but you need to give him the chance to be a dad. That appears to be all he wants from you. He wants to be there for the child you share with him. There are men in this world who wouldn’t want to even think of being in their child’s life – I see them on Maury all the time: Some dude doesn’t know how to use a condom, fucks ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING that stands upright, has a pulse and has great Tits and an Ass to play with in the nude.

When they discover these women are pregnant, they can’t deny and hit the ground running fast enough.

You are one of the lucky ones – Levi WANTS TO BE THERE.

So, do the world a favor: Cut out all this bullshit, give Levi a chance, and take a strong stand against stupidity – use your head.

Thank you for reading.

–PlayBoyMan

PS. : btw, if your mom gets a divorce or gets lonely, have her get in touch with me on Twitter. (@PlayBoyMan) – I’ll be tender. ;D